Things I know without a shadow of a doubt...

These are things I know to be true without hesitation:

1. I know there is a God. I have faith and have had personal experiences that tell me He is real.

2. I am one of the most blessed people on the planet. I have the most amazing people in my life.

3. I will succeed in becoming an English teacher one day. Just not sure when that day will come.

4. I love Luke with so much of me that he is a part of my very being.

5. I have come to realize how truly sappy I am. Hopeless romantic, I am!

6. I love Finn and still cannot believe how truly gorgeous and perfect he is. Blows my mind.

7. My sisters are people to envy.

8. Lydia, my eldest sister, is a hero in my eyes. She overcame a lot and works her hiney off daily to take care of and spoil her husband and daughter.

9. Rebecca, the second eldest, is one of the most complex people I know. Yet, she has a heart of Gold. And loves very fiercely.

10. Kristina, my little sister and best friend, is so incredibly beautiful on the inside and out. She looks like a supermodel, but has the intelligence of a rocket scientist. I am SO glad Heavenly Father put us together in the same family.

11. My mother is selfless, gorgeous, little and strong. She is a rock, but a softy when it comes to her family and her faith.

12. My father is my hero. He is a big teddy bear with a huge heart. He would give his life for his family, friends, strangers and God. I am a daddy's girl.

13. Being angry is fruitless, so I choose to be happy and dispel anger as soon as it starts to creep in.

14. I was made to be a mother and a wife. It's the best job I could hope for, and I plan on keeping it for a long time.

15. I am set in my ways, my beliefs, my politics. Don't try to change them.

16. I am glad I am an optimist, a romantic, religious and didn't compromise those things to be popular, well liked or "cool."

17. I love sleep, and it's the one thing I miss about being a new mom. That being said, I could stare at Mr. Finnegan all day and night, and be perfectly content.

18. Luke's voice is the most soothing sound in the world.

19. His arms are the most comforting feeling in the world.

20. Finn's breathing, his coos, his smiles, his wiggles, his snoring, his "hugs"...Thank you, Heavenly Father for this little man.

21. I have the best in-laws a gal could ask for!

22. I love my two brother-in-laws and my sister-in-law like they were my blood.

23. I love my nephews and my neice and am so proud of all four of them.

Those are the things I know. Have a good night all! :)

Some thoughts...

I love how perfect babies look when they sleep. Finn is asleep on my lap right now, and he looks flawless. After posting this, I think I might actually try to put him in his bassinet and sleep with Luke. I miss him. Hence, the reason for this entry.
I miss my husband so stinking much. He gets up for work at 5:30am, leaves by 6, and is usually not home until about 6:30pm. I am home with my little man which has been an adjustment but is still lovely. It's nice that we can afford for me to stay at home with Finn. Taking care of him is something I have fallen into quite nicely, I think. In any case, by the time Luke gets home, we are both exhausted and after we eat dinner, he takes a shower, destresses from the day and chills with Finn for awhile. Then, he goes to bed and I either play with Finn or sleep with him in the recliner, (this is my fault. I held him while he slept since he has been home and now he can't sleep UNLESS I am holding him. Whoops.)
When Luke and I first started dating, we both knew we had found something special. Luke had gone through one of the toughest relationships a person can go through, and I had never been in love. I knew I had gotten really lucky to have found someone who loves me so completely, and shows it every day. I wanted to be the best girlfriend he had. Now, I strive to be the best wife in the world. He strives to be the best husband in the world. Sure, we both have our days where we could work on certain things, but we both know our lines of communication are always totally open and we are always making sure the other is happy and content.
I love Luke so completely and he has my heart 100%. I miss him right now, mainly because we are adjusting to life with a new baby. I DO NOT resent Finn in any way, shape or form. I miss sleeping next to the love of my life. I know this is a time of adjustment and I am grateful to have such a supportive and understanding husband who listens when I need to talk. who helps when I ask for it, who loves Finn and I enough to work his tail off every day so we are comfortable, who compliments me and show affection daily, (I especially appreciate this when I am feeling fat, unattractive or grumpy.) I guess the reason of this blog is to write down my thoughts on the husband that I am truly blessed to have. I KNOW how lucky I got; I need to remember it when I am feeling sorry for myself for something that is truly silly. Anyhow, Finn has crashed on my chest and I am hoping he stays asleep for the-moving- from- mama's- chest- to- bassinet process. Good night, all! :)

A pic of my new little man!

The birth story!

It's 11:30 and Finn is sleeping on my chest after a diaper change, a full tummy and lots of kisses. He is licking his fist, which is one of the many adorable things he does that make my heart melt. I am so glad he is here. He makes me so content and at peace with the world. Sometimes I feel like my chest is going to explode. I thought, when I married Luke, that my capacity to love was at the "full" level. Not so. I know it's a different kind of love, but as Luke said in the delivery room: "my chest feels like it's going to explode." I couldn't agree more. Now, on to the main subject of this blog.
Some people have asked about Finn's delivery and our experience. I have decided to put it in my blog so those who wish to know the "story" can read at their own convenience. If you couldn't care less, then have a great day! :)
So, I started having little contractions about a month before my due date, (9/27). They were considered false contractions. Around that time, I was at 1cm. At my 38 week appt, I was at 2cm. A few days before my due date, I started having stronger contractions. Ones that made me wince, but weren't horrible. At my 40 week appt, I was still only 2cm but Finn's head was reachable. I thought that might be a good sign. I was hoping to deliver on my due date for a few reasons: 1. My mom was there and my sisters, dad and brother-in-law had limited time reserved to come for the birth and to get to know Finn. 2. It was Luke's best friend, Rubens', birthday and I thought that would be a nice homage to him. 3. Ruben was getting married a week later and I knew Luke wanted to be there. 4. I was getting extremely uncomfortable and my OB was a little worried about my pelvis size and the placenta was starting to show come calcification. Not that he was too worried, (obviously, or he wouldn't have let me go 2 weeks overdue!)
At my 41 week appt, (I was a week overdue now), I still had no signs of delivering. My OB decided, (after some prodding from me), that now was the time to try and get Finn out. I was set to go into the hospital the next morning for an induction that was not very invasive. They gave me a pill that started contractions in a slow and mild way. I was there 15 hours, and though my contractions became stronger, I stayed at 2cm AND Finn decided to move his head up and out of my pelvis. I was sent home with the instructions to come back Thursday to try a gel called Cervadil, ( basically, a step up from the pill.) The gel caused the contractions to become stronger; to the point where I couldn't talk through them. The first strong ones made me cry, mainly because they scared me with their intensity. However, at the end of the day, I had only progressed to 3cm and Finn still had his head up. The nurses became more concerned, considering I was now coming up on 2 weeks overdue and they were estimating Finn would be a large baby, (I knew that already, just based on the size of my tummy, and how strong and long he felt in there.) My OB decided that Monday, 10/11, when I was officially 2 weeks overdue, that he would induce me with Pitocin and get him out. I was concerned about the placenta dying because the OB said parts of it were showing calcification, (maybe the worry was silly, but that is me.)
However, early Sunday morning at about 4:30 am, I told Luke I thought we should go in. Though I was still having the same regular contractions from the first two failed inductions, and wasn't feeling any different really, something told me this was it. Luke said he had been praying all night, and had a feeling this was it as well. So, we woke my mom, big sister and dad up and told them we would go to the hospital and let them know what happened. If we were admitted, Luke would call so they could come on over. (Note: My little sister, who was supposed to be in the delivery room with me, and her husband had left that Friday because their time off was up. Still makes me sad that KK couldn't be there for Finn's birth.)
We arrived, checked in at the ER lobby, and a security officer wheeled me to the Maternity Ward. I was SO happy when I was told the nurse who had been helping us all week, (Luke and I took to her and we LOVE her), would be there at 7am. They checked me and I was still only at 3cm. However, our amazing nurse called my OB and he decided to start the Pitocin so this whole process could finally climax and we could finally meet our little man! All I can say is WOW. Pitocin SUCKS. It made my contractions go to 2 minutes apart, and so strong I could barely think straight. I admire women SO much; contractions are the worst pain I have ever felt. Apparently, I said "I can't do this anymore!" a couple times and punched the bed a lot. During our childbirth class, our teacher mentioned that she made a quiet, deep "ooohhh" sound during her contractions. I did the same, and it helped so much. I never screamed or cried, (much to the surprise of myself, Luke and my mom. I have a low pain tolerance and am a bit of a wimp. I was pretty proud afterwards. I thought I would be a crazy wreck the whole time.)
After about four hours, my nurse checked me and I was at 5cm and fully effaced. I decided then to have an epidural. They called the on call anesthesiologist and he came in and put it in. It was completely painless, mainly because I was still on Pitocin and didn't notice the needle through the contractions. My nurse put Fentanyl, (a pain med), in my IV so I would sleep before "the work began." That is my one regret. It made my head so fuzzy and I was a little out of it after Finn was born.
My nurse checked me after my epidural took effect, and I was at 7cm, (a half hour after I was only at 5cm.) Only a half hour later, I told the nurse I was feeling immense pressure, (I asked that the epidural not be too strong because I wanted to be able to feel pressure so I knew when to push.) She was a little doubtful, but checked me and immediately discovered that I was at 10cm and Finn's head was crowning. She called the OB to come in, (he had just arrived and scrubbed up), and had my big sister, Lydia and my mom hold my legs and Luke was holding my head and neck so I could push down with support. I started pushing at 1:50 pm and Finn was born at 2:30 pm. At the beginning of my pregnancy, Luke was instructed NOT to look while I was delivering Finn, (for reasons that no one probably cares to know, LOL.) However, because of the "oohing and aaahhing" my mom and sister were doing, Luke asked to see and was able to watch Finn being born whilst holding my head and being super supportive and sweet. He said it was one of the coolest things he has ever seen, and he is glad I let him. To be honest, pushing was my favorite part of the whole delivery process, (I'm sure because I didn't feel any pain, only the pressure.) I pushed three times during every contraction and though I was able to push fairly successfully, it was a little difficult when you can't feel anything from the waist down. Something I knew was a negative about having an epidural. (FUNNY SIDENOTE: Every time I felt pressure and was getting ready to push, I said, "All right. Let's do this.")
When Finn was born, he sucked in air too quick and collapsed his left lung. Our nurse, who is a hero in my eyes, noticed immediately after he was placed on my chest that he was not really crying and was purple. Luke and her immediately grabbed him off me, and she began to work on him while Luke stayed by his side, (and didn't leave it from then on.) The nurse also noticed that his chest is a little caved in on one side, which we later learned will go away as he gets older and grows.I had to deliver the placenta and second degree tearing so I was being stitched up and trying to see what was happening. They took a chest x-ray, discovered his collapsed lung, and took him to the nursery to be intubated and transferred to the Redding NICU, where he stayed for a week. Luke and my dad stayed by his side during all this and came in and gave me, my sister and my mom updates. The updates were basically them reassuring me that he was ok. I didn't know this, but Luke was an absolute wreck and was breaking down watching them put needles in him and putting tubes down his throat, (the pediatrician failed to intubate him the first 3 times so they had another pediatrician do it; Luke was NOT happy.) I was so out of it from the Fentanyl, and was trying to remain positive, (my coping mechanism. I was FREAKING out inside, but I was trying to put up a strong front.) I lost it when they let me in the nursery while the EMTs were prepping him for his ambulance drive to Mercy Medical Center. Seeing him being wheeled away was torture. Not being able to leave St. Elizabeths until the next day was torture as well, but I was glad Luke and my mom were in Redding keeping an eye on him. Because of his collapsed lung, he also developed pneumonia and was successfully treated with antibiotics. The NICU pediatrician and the nurses there were incredible and so helpful, understanding and loving. He was the biggest baby there, (all the others were itty bitty preemies; his neighbors were such cuties.) Luke and I were there every day, and developed a great relationship with the amazing nurses there. Having a baby in the NICU was the worst feeling in the world, and I admire the families of the babies who have to be there for months on end and with much worse illnesses than Finn. I respect the strength of those families more than they know.
However, Finn is the picture of health now and we have LOVED having him home. He is such a good baby and is one resilient, tough baby. Here are his stats at birth:

Born: 10/10/10, (cool huh?)
Weight: 8lbs 14oz
Height: 21 1/2 inches
Time: 2:30 pm
Hair color: Blonde eyebrows, light brown hair
Eye color: dark blue, (mama's eyes!)

He is now 10lbs 12 oz, (he eats like a full grown man) and is 22 1/2 inches long. His pediatrician used a computer growth chart and estimates he will be about 6ft 4in to 6ft 6in tall. He has made Luke and I so happy and we love him more than air. Luke is an amazing dad and we are enjoying all his little quirks and faces. I thought he looked like me at first, but he is starting to look more and more like Luke. We love our little man! More updates on my chunky monkey as he learns and grows! Love you all!!! :)

Oh, the drama!!!

Just when everything looks perfect, a little bump in the road appears. We got different insurance for both the cars, and the monthly rate was a sweet deal. Now, don't get me wrong. It really isn't much of a bump. Today, I get a letter saying you have a ticket, (speeding from two years ago), and an accident, (which I thought wasn't on my record), from last year. Therefore, your insurance is going to go up from $66 a month, to a little over a $100 a month. $34? Not that big of deal, I know. I just feel so bad; I told them there wasn't anything on my record, (I honestly thought there wasn't), and if it wasn't for me, our insurance would still be nice and low. Then, I get home and decide to do an assessment of our finances. Again, NOT that bad. But, with our car payment and insurance, we added about $250 to our monthly bills. We were paying a lot on medical bills, but they are all paid off, (thank the Lord!) For some reason, every time I assess our finances, I get stressed. We could have plenty in the savings, all our bills could be paid, and Luke and I both will still stress out about it all. Something I do, though, is hide my stress and always talk about the positives when it comes to our finances. Like, "hey our insurance went up but only $30. Oh, by the way, we are done paying off our medical bills!" Always the optimist. Luke works so hard for us so I try to make things the least stressful that I can. All I can say right now is, thank the Lord for a nice savings account to fall back on if needed!
On a different note, I am now 36 weeks 4 days and he is kicking the crap out of me. I am so ready for him to be out, but at the same time, he needs to cook all he can so I am trying to ignore the aches and pains and be patient. We are having my mom, dad, my sisters Lydia and Kristina, and my brother-in-law Danny and niece Brooke when Finn decides to arrive. That's a lot of people for our little tiny two bedroom cottage. But, I am excited that they will all be here and we will make room! Anyhow, I am off to try to relax a bit and then get motivated to clean out my spare bedroom closet. Have a great day, everyone!

Off my chest...

I am so tired of being pregnant. I love my little man more than life itself, but I am done not sleeping and being in so much pain. Let me explain:
I started having what I didn't know were contractions on Monday. They weren't regular, and they were only super painful twice. But, I am having a lot of trouble walking because of lower back and pelvic pain. Sometimes, I can't even move! So, guess what the OB told me? She told me I need to take it easy and not do too much until my 36 week appointment so I have been doing a little still, (I don't want Luke to have to do everything), but I have essentially been laying in bed trying to find things to do on the computer, movies to watch, things like that. AH! I am going nuts! LOL...But, my OB also said if they find I could go into labor at any point from Monday on, they won't try to stop it and we will finally meet our little man that has been cooking in there for what seems like ten years! Anyhow, here's to finding things to occupy my time! Have a good wekeend, all! Lots of love!

To Do List

I have no idea why I am writing this in my blog; most likely because I am pretty sure no one reads this. That is fine with me, though; I consider this more of an online journal than anything. So, anyhow...I am up very early this morning. Luke got up at 6:30 am, (his only day to sleep in an extra half hour), and I got up with him.
Yesterday was Luke's birthday! He turned 25. I am so proud of him and wanted to do something extra special for him so I bought him a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Collectors Edition with all the movies in a cool case, the TMNT masks and washable tattoes. Childish? Maybe. But, it was what he really wanted; maybe channeling his inner child in preparation for Finn. Then, I made him a steak dinner with sauteed mushrooms and onions with garlic mashed potatoes and salad with IBC Root Beer, (his favorite), to wash it all down. Then, we had an intimate evening, *wink wink* and lots of laughing and chatting while we fell asleep. It was a great day! Luke said he loved his birthday so I am glad I could make it special for him! Love that man!
Ok, back to the original reason for this post. Since Luke left for work, I have been cleaning in preparation for my mama coming! I am so excited! It's a kind of late notice visit, but I am so glad she decided to visit. She came to see the new car, see us, and go to the chilbirth class with us this weekend since she is going to be in the delivery room with us anyhow. But, the house is in a little bit of disarray so I cleaned the front room, the bedrooms, the laundry room, did the laundry and cleaned any spiderwebs that love to spawn by our front and back doors in the summer. This is what I still have to do:

~ Finish up the laundry and put it all away
~ Clean that gnarly kitchen
~ Make the beds
~ Clean out our freezer, (An IBC Root Beer exploded in there!)
~ Clean the bathroom
~ Go to the car insurance place to get insurance on the new car
~ Pick up Luke's paycheck and deposit it
~ Get groceries
~ Get ahold of mom
~ Childbirth class
~ Mail some bills

Heavens to Betsy! Still lots to do, and I have until 5:30 pm to get it all done! It's is exactly 9:00 am right now. That gives me 8 and 1/2 hours. Wish me luck, and have yourself a magnificent and fun weekend!

Good things come in pairs...cross your fingers!

We got a car! YAY! I am so excited, I had to log on really quick and tell the world...or the people who read this blog! We got a 1997 Ford Explorer with only 57,000 miles on it! Amazing, you say? Not as amazing as the low price! We did have to get a small, (and I mean, SMALL), loan but I have my beautiful, sparkly, and most importantly, mechanically incredible SUV! I am so happy! We are waiting on Luke to get home a little early, and then it is off to the dealership to pick it up and take it home! Luke wants to install the car seat and put the second, smaller stroller in the trunk right when we get home! His excitement over Finn coming in less than six weeks is getting me all excited as well! I am so happy!
So...the reason for the title? Good things do come in pairs...a beautiful baby boy that are pieces of the love of my life and I and a gorgeous, nice car to bring him home in! WOOT!

"One door closes, another opens..."

Can I just first say, I love extra crunchy Peanut Butter on Ritz crackers? It's like my new favorite snack! Ok, on a more serious note, we have an update on the Tax crap and the housing program. First things first: Tax and our useless government. We still have not received a call from the lady who is supposed to be helping us get our money as soon as possible. I called her and bugged her again, but she was "waiting" on some information so now we are waiting too! Luckily, I have the most incredible people in my life and we are getting an extension from someone I love dearly so we can buy a car! Therefore, we are buying our car this weekend!!! I'm so excited to have a new car, (new for me.)
Second, the housing program called us. We were over qualified, (as in we make too much money.) I was really upset at first, as was Luke. But, then I prayed fervently about it, and I got a very calm feeling. Luke and I both agreed that this means something better is in store for us. So, now our plan is buy a house! The positive points on that are that we won't have to build a house from the ground up, we would be able to move in as soon as it closed, and there would be less hassle all the way around. So, we are choosing to see this as a positive, rather than a roadblock.
So, all in all, we are getting our car in the next few days, we will be looking into buying a house before Luke is 26, (that's next August), we can have our babies in our house together before another is born. Oh, and for those who are LDS, we are taking our Temple Preparedness class and will be sealed to each other and Finn and our future children very soon. I am the most excited for this. It's going to be the greatest gift either of us could give to each other or our children. I can't wait! Love you all, and have an amazing day!

ARGH!!!!

I am so flipping frustrated and nervous and tense! I called the SHHIP housing project and they said they never got our application! I mailed it exactly a week ago! Luckily, (and I am glad there is a positive side to this), she was very kind and said she would keep an eye out for it. If it doesn't come by tomorrow afternoon, she will be coming down to Red Bluff and will just fill out a new one with me so I don't have to mail and wonder again.
On another extremely obnoxious note, I called the IRS adovcate service, and she is still waiting on finding out if and when we will get our return. She said she is a little concerned because she doesn't even see that we filed for 2009. I have the paperwork and proof that we did and so does she! I faxed it to her! Also, I was told by the IRS that the Advocate Service can get you your money within two days...it's been a month! Obviously, she doesn't seem to be on my side with this one! Man, the government is starting to tick me off in more ways than one, (besides this, this whole administration is just a group of insane whack jobs.) Normally, I keep my opinions to myself about this current administration for the sake of not getting into unwanted confrontations, but today-I don't care! This government is doing and allowing horrendous things to happen! Don't concern yourself with arguing with me about it either. It won't help either of our blood pressure and I am pregnant and don't need any more anxiety!
Phew. I just can't help but think about Luke's feelings with all this as well. Here he is, working 80 hours a week for Finn and I, and we finally decide to "go for the gold" as it were, and things just...stopped. I guess it's better than things just being rejected or not approved, but this waiting game is killing our morale. I just want him to know and understand that he is doing a great job and all will work out. So, trying to end on a positive note, hope everyone is having a great day and keep the faith! Ciao!

I'm A Slug...

When I first got back from Oregon, I had all this energy. I organized Finn's stuff, our house was thoroughly cleaned and I was happy go lucky. Not anymore! I am so exhausted, it's ridiculous! My energy level is absolute zip. To be honest, it really peeves me. I am bigger than I was yesterday, (I swear, every morning, my measuring tape a.k.a stretch marks are further up my belly), and he is resting further and further down on my pelvis. I am SO uncomfortable, and I feel so bad for my husband! I still do the basic cleaning, (sweep, mop, dishes, laundry, put clothes away, and clean the bathroom), but the deep cleaning has gone down to nil. The baby's bedroom is a mess right now, (Luke and I stayed up until 3 in the morning starting to put the crib together; project to be continued tonight.) Okay, that is enough for my whine fest.
These are things occuring in Luke and my life right now:

1. We are getting ready to have Finn outside the womb! (I'm 33 weeks today!)

2. We applied for a housing program where your down payment is building the house along with the contractors. We see if we are approved tomorrow! WOOT!

3. We are buying a car this week and at the latest, the end of next weekend! Yay for new cars, (new for us, of course. Not brand new!)

4. Luke is working more and more and is taking great pride in how well he is doing and how good he is at his job.

There are so many life changing things Luke and I trying to balance right now, and it's all so exciting but nerve-wracking at the same time. A new baby, a new house, a new car....AH! It's so much! Anyhow, I am going to make some dinner before my love gets home and then finish up this crib...loves to all!

Quite the accomplished lady!

Last Wednesday, I drove by myself to Oregon to visit all my family that live there. From that day to Friday, I had a blast hanging out with two of my sisters, my niece, and my wonderful parents. I just did my normal thing; I went with the flow and hung out with whomever was available.
(Note: I did have one annoying and disgusting pregnancy symptom: swollen feet. They are only now going slightly back to normal. SO gnarly looking.)
It was a lot of fun! Finn was moving constantly so every family member got to feel and physically see him moving my tummy around. They all loved it, especially Kristina. She saw it the most, and was in awe of how much he moved and how well she was able to see him. On Friday night, Luke was able to drive up and be there with my family.
Saturday, he, my father and my brother-in-law drove up to Redmond, OR. Luke's grandpa, (whom he was very close to), passed almost two years ago and Luke inherited a 1957 Willys Jeep. My father renovates cars as a hobby, and was delighted to take the trip with Luke and bring it back to my parents' place, where they will be renovating it together. Luke wants to get a specialty license plate to honor his grandfather. He was so happy to see his grandma, and be able to have something that was dear to him and his grandpa. They had a blast driving up to Redmond and back in one day, too. Male bonding time, they called it.
While the guys were in Redmond, my superhero mother put on a baby shower for Finn and I. It was a ton of fun, had great food, a beautiful cake and a lot of amazing people came. Finn and I got a TON of things; he now has all of the following items:

Crib
Changing Table
Bassinet
Swaddling blankets
Baby blankets
More clothes than a baby should be allowed to have (Just kidding; they are SO cute)
Pacifiers
Bottles (for when I pump and Luke feeds him)
Diapers
Wipes
Diaper rash cream
Baby wash and lotion
Stroller
Car seat
Baskets
Booties
Hats
Socks

...And a whole other plethora of things that I can't recall at this time. I felt very accomplished today. I bought two accordion style file folders and organized all our bills, paid and still to be paid in one and all our tax, certificate and Social Security stuff in the other. I cleaned the house, (not crazy deep cleaning; I am saving that for tomorrow.) I did all our laundry from our trip, (Luke washed it all, but I folded and put it all away.) I got all the presents for Finn and organized them the best I could until the nursery is organized and we have a dresser. I took the tags off all his new clothes and washed them, (which reminds me, I need to put them in the dryer now.) I finished the application to see if Luke and I get approved for a self help house building program. If we are approved, (I don't see why we won't be), we will begin building around the time Finn is born, (nice timing, huh?) and it should be done by February or March. We will be homeowners! All in all, these last few days have been extremely productive and everything is going so well. I am enjoying this positive aura surrounding Luke, Finn and I. Here's hoping it will last a long time! Anyhow, I am off to switch laundry and snuggle with my already sleeping husband and watch a movie and get some rest! Good night, all!

My Birth Plan

Since we have only 10 weeks until Finn makes his debut, I have started thinking about my birth plan. Some women write out exactly what they want and go over it with their OB/GYN. I haven't done that yet, but I am sure my Dr. will ask me soon what my plans are. To be honest, there are only a few things I am specific about. I really just want them to do whatever they can to make sure Finn is ok and gets the least traumatizing experience he can. I am very open to having an epidural, which everyone is almost 100% sure I will have, (they all think I am a wimp; I am a little bit, to be honest. hehe.)
I am going to TRY and deliver naturally. Luke is pushing me to just have an epidural as soon as possible; whenever I have been in pain, he gets very protective and a little strained. He wants me to be as comfortable as possible. I really, really want to deliver naturally; I would definitely rather not have a C-Section. Based on how textbook/normal this pregnancy has been, I have little to fear about that. I don't want a ton of people in the room, besides my sisters, my mom and Luke. Oh, and the regular doctors and nurses. But, as little staff as possible would be nice. I am VERY modest and I would rather not have a million random strangers staring at my hoo-ha. I want my mom, my eldest sister, my baby sister and my hubbs in there. My mom and Lydia, (my eldest sister), are super strong and will be a HUGE help. My little sister, Kristina, will be my sappy, loving one who will help me feel calm and in my optimistic, "gooey" state. Luke is my rock, my solid foundation that will know exactly what to say to be there for me and the baby. He will know what questions to ask and will keep an eye on me, the baby and all that is going on. I am very grateful for the amazing support that I have.
In short, (haha), I don't have a specific plan, except to make sure Finn is HEALTHY, HAPPY and SAFE. Other than that, keep my family with me, and let it be quick and pain free, (I'm kidding, of course.) Have a great day and a wonderful week!

P.S. - 30 WEEKS TODAY!!!

A stroke of genius!!!

I had a dream last night...and it made me really happy. You may remember from a past post that I want to write a book, (no, it will not be about vampires, though I do confess that I love Twilight). Well, my dream was my inspiration. I am not going to delve into the plot or the subplot, but I think it is pure genius. I told Luke about my idea, and he said it had major potential to be an innovative and great idea. He also said a good story could be about one of his ancestors that experienced something similar to what one of my characters in my story experiences. I cannot wait to start writing. I think a good title would be wise. JM Barrie said that, in some variation anyhow. I just need to run it by my little sister, who is the other person I tell everything to and if she approves, I will begin! (I may begin tonight just to try my hand at it!) I even chose who would play the main characters if it ever got made into a movie!
Anyhow, have a good night everyone and have an amazing weekend!

"Don't worry, baby. Everything will turn out all right...

I am listening to the Beach Boys, hence the title. I don't think Finn likes it, though. He stopped moving the second I started playing it. Or, maybe it puts him to sleep. Who knows? All I know is I am so exhausted, I feel like a zombie. I am coming up on 30 weeks, and I feel like sleeping until then. I never sleep at night because Luke and I are now cramped for space, since my tummy is large and imposing and Luke doesn't want to accidentally punch or knee me. Plus, my hips and legs radiate pain and I can't lay on my back or tummy so I just flip back and forth every 15 minutes and that is a process in and of itself.
I am writing this and then I must do the never ending dishes, pick up some dirty clothes and make this bed. I feel better when things are at least picked up and semi-clean. It just takes TONS of motivation to actually start doing these chores. Once I start, though, I can't stop until I am red faced and sweaty. It's about 110 degrees outside today. Painfully hot, and I feel bad for Luke. He has been having a rough week at work and I am sure this heat doesn't help too much. But, he has been in an amazingly great mood as soon as he gets home though.
Is there a point to this particular blog spot? Not really. Just writing out what is going on in my head. This is what my thought process is: "Sleeeeeeppppp....must clean THEN sleeeepppp...." That's pretty much it. Ok. I will follow what my brain and body are saying must be done. Hope everyone's summer is going well! Have a great sunny day!

"Bobbing along, on the bottom of the beautiful briney sea..."

It's late. Luke is sleeping in a very funny way; on his back, with his fingers intertwined like he is praying. Love it. I am feeling Finn wiggle and shake, and watching an action flick that I love. My tummy is getting huge, my innie is now an outie and I have some nasty stretch marks that Luke says, "look like they hurt." Not physically, sweetie, but a little mentally. I DO NOT like them. But, they are worth it to have my baby boy. I am starting to get very short of breath, which I figure is normal because my stomach is getting more and more enormous every day. I like having a big, pregnant tummy almost all the time, except when trying to sleep or trying to clean and pick up things; it puts a little damper on doing things day to day. I haven't had a normal nights' rest in quite awhile, but maybe that is to prep me for the restless nights when my little sesame seed is here.
I am a little irritated with finances right now. No, we are not broke, but we are trying to buy a car without getting a loan and although we have some saved, we were counting on a considerable amount of money from our tax return to pump up our savings. The IRS accepted my return, but put it on hold because of my new last name change confused them. I have attempted to rectify the issue on FOUR different occassions and every time, they tell me they fixed it but they still haven't. Now, I am having to contact an Assistance program. Today, I called them and the guy was snippy and sounded lethargic or drunk or both. I am calling again tomorrow and I PRAY that I will talk to someone who can solve the problem finally or at least give me a straight answer. I am getting SO sick of it all. Plus, I hate dealing with things like this on the phone. I much prefer doing it in person so I can tell the full story without getting interrupted. Ok, whining is over!
After we get the car, I would like to move into a nicer home while we are building our house that we will actually own. I cannot wait to be a homeowner and decorate and have new, nicer things. I don't mind our home right now. It is big enough for a baby and Luke and I, but I believe there are some mold problems underneath the linoleum in the kitchen and laundry room. I don't want Finn inhaling that. We will see if the landlord will pay for an inspector to check it out and if all is well, then we can stay here until our home is done. If there is mold, we need to move quick! I have only 11 weeks until my baby boy will be here! So much to do, so little time. Other than that, we just need to set up his nursery, (we have all the furniture), and get everything ready for his arrival!
These days, I really just think about Finn, Luke, and the future, which entails many things. I will be a mother; I will be a wife; I will be a homeowner; I will be one day a college graduate. I will be a teacher. All of these things excite me so much, and I think that's kind of amusing. They certainly aren't exciting things, but they are things I really want and I am so excited they are beginning to take shape. I thank God every day for all my blessings and I hope to never take them for granted.
There are other things going on in my life, and my families life that aren't so great. They are rather personal, but I am hoping one day to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We will see. Good night everyone!

"We get it! You love him!"

I am sure my friends and family are SO tired of hearing about how much I love Luke, and how blessed I am. I am really sure they are. I might be tired of hearing it too, if I was in their shoes. Well, I'm not when it comes to my sisters and my mother. They all married wonderful men, too. Kristina's hubby is one of the kindest, most hilarious guys on the planet. Not one single person doesn't love Danny. My eldest sister, Lydia's husband is extremely hard working and completely dedicated to my sister and their daughter. He teases my sisters and I, but he does it out of love. My other older sister, Rebecca's, late husband was a very sensitive and caring soul. He was a troubled guy with a troubled past, but the more I hung out with him towards the end of his life, the more I saw his loving, tender side. He was also a HILARIOUS guy with a goofy disposition.
There was a time, however, when I thought I would never be married. I remember the day I turned 20, something inside me just clicked. Before then, I had never wanted to be married or have children. I wanted to be a famous actress/model and show the world that you can be famous whilst keeping your morals and traditions. But, when I turned 20, all of a sudden, a different fire was lit under my hiney. I wanted to get married, and have 8 kids! Well, maybe not 8, but I wanted babies!!! I was living in Utah, away from those I loved the most, and all three of my sisters were married. Lydia had been for awhile, Rebecca had just married the year before, and Kristina got married the Summer of 2006. My baby sister...married...before me. People might think I was jealous, and I was for a little bit. Noe because she rubbed it in or anything like that. But, because now I was the only one left, and with no prospects. In fact, my self confidence had been so shot by a series of experiences and people in college that no one wanted me. Oh sure, they all said I was beautiful, but beauty only takes you so far if you don't have the confidence to back it up. So, I wasn't jealous. Just depressed that I might not ever get to wear the fancy white dress and marry a man who loved me more than air. But, I held out hope that Heavenly Father would send me this cute, sweet, tall Mormon boy who never did any wrong in his life. That' s what I thought I wanted. Then came Luke. HA.
Luke was raised Mormon, but strayed away after a series of very unfortunate and horrible occurences in his life. He began to do all the things we were told as church members NOT to do. I have known him since we were 12, (another story), and had a huge thing for him. He did not return the feelings until he saw me again when we were 19. Apparently, I got really, really good looking, (I thought I looked the same.) It would take him 3 years of trying to court me and me turning him down before I gave him a chance. He has a tattoo, but he was going back to church, was cleaning up his life and was trying to integrate the things that used to make him happy back in his life; God and the Gospel. When I decided to give him a chance, I was surprised at how I felt right after saying I would date him. Pure and utter relief! I felt like this was it! I am done looking! And, guess what? I was right! I have never once regretted my decision to date him, marry him or have children with him.
Luke is my rock, my main support system. He is the strongest, most intense person I have ever met. It can be intimidating to people who first meet him, but it's one of my favorite things about him. He worships the ground I walk on; not in a weird way, of course. But, I feel safe with him. I know he would die before letting anything happen to me or Finn. He says things about me to people without being shy of his sensitive feelings. He kisses me and holds my hand in public. He compliments me daily and always tells me loves me. I know God was up there, laughing His face off when I was asking Him if I would ever find someone to love me. He was probably thinking, Hold on, Liz! He is getting ready for you!
In short, (HA), I know people probably say ENOUGH ALREADY! when I talk about how blessed I am to have Luke. But, I feel I owe it to God to say thank you over and over again for giving me such a blessing that is my husband. So...thanks again, God!

Update and the discussion of a "moral compass"

So, first things first. Update on my wee little lad, Finn. He is kicking and punching and moving SO much, and I love it. Love it, love it, love it. I know, you can tell I love it. When he is quiet, I rub my tummy and lightly poke it so he moves. I am probably driving him absolutely crazy since he is most likely trying to get some sleep, but I love watching my tummy move and I love that he is doing great in there. I actually finally have a little faith that my body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. I was worried last week; so much so, that I went back to the OB's office two days after my appointment to make sure some symptoms weren't super bad ones. Turns out I have a mild case of Symphosis Pubis Dysfunction; a fancy way of saying my pubic bone sometimes feels like it is going to split in half. It hurts fairly bad, but it's not preterm labor and Finn doesn't notice it. As long as he is okay, bring the pain! I can take it! I can take anything so this little man of mine will be healthy and safe! Anyhow, he is doing well and I have only three more days until I am officially in the third trimester!!! WOOT!
Next. There is this website I was introduced to while watching a newscast about moms cyber bullying other moms. Seriously? How old are we, ladies? But, anyhow, I looked up this website and became mildly addicted. It was interesting to read what other women went through on a daily basis and what their opinions were, even if they differed from my own. But, holy hannah! Some of those women downright astonished me. Basically, people who have a moral compass, who try to live life correctly, lawfully, are FAITHFUL to their spouses and who don't believe what society tells us is OK necessarily means it's OK, are considered close minded, rigid "prudes". WHAT???!!! I didn't know I was a close minded, rigid prude, but thanks for letting me know! *Insert immense sarcasm* How can living your life drug/alcohol free, not being intimate with my husband before we were married, and believing in being faithful to that man mean I am not living my life correctly? So, I should get drunk, smoke some dope and cheat on Luke? That will make me happy? What about the fact that I have never been happier in my life than now? What about the fact that I have personally seen people live their life in this "free" manner, and they are miserable, alone and I feel horrible for them? I have always lived my life constantly trying to better myself and though I have MANY flaws, I don't think me being moral is one of them.
Yes, I am conservative. Yes, I am a Republican. Yes, I am religious. No, I am not ASHAMED of it. It goes both ways. People who are "free" and live their life with no thought of the consequences judge me because I live with a code of honor and am "old fashioned." Yet, they contantly whine in the media that people like me are judging them. It's a double edged sword, I guess, but in my opinion- this world has started to crumble as soon as we started becoming "modern" and adopting the "live without responsibilities" attitude. Oy. It frustrates me to no end. If people lived with the conscious realization that there are consequences to every action, we wouldn't have abortion, wars, hate, racism, divorce. Now, don't get me wrong. I know there are extenuating circumstances to everything. Divorce can happen due to abuse or infidelity. But, you are divorced because "he/she just isn't the same person"? Counseling people! At least TRY!
Or abortion. Oh, man what a HOT topic for me. I did research on abortion for a speech class and I found that less than 2% of abortions are results of rape. The other 98-99% is because it was inconvenient for the person, didn't fit their lifestyle, they didn't want to lose their figure...BLA, BLA, BLA. There are millions of couples out there that are dying to adopt since they can't have their own. And, you are going to kill a baby because you'll get "fat?" Are you freaking kidding me???!!!! I will listen to other people's opinion when it comes to pretty much anything because I respect that differing opinions are what makes the world go round, but as soon as someone brings up abortion, I stop them. Don't even attempt to tell me why it is OK, but because in no way, shape or form is it OK in my eyes. And it NEVER will be. (On a side note, did you know if a drunk driver killed a pregnant woman and her unborn baby, he would be charged with a double homicide? Even if that same pregnant woman was on her way to an abortion clinic? Interesting.)
Ok, I think I got all that off my chest. Phew. Thanks for listening, reading, whatever. If anyone disagrees with me on anything, (but the abortion topic, of course), I commend you for having your own opinion and beliefs. More power to ya! Thanks everyone and I hope all your summers are going super well!

Thoughts for the day...all jumbled and rollin' about!

I have a lot on the mind today. Last night, I cried. For no reason at all; well, maybe a little reason. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luke put it into perspective for the first time for both of us: "Finn will be here in 14 weeks. That's a little over three months. WOW." It made my heart jump a little! 50% was excitement, 50% was HOLY CRAP! We will be in charge of a little human being in about 90 days? Don't get me wrong, I want him here now; part of the overwhelmed feeling is coming from the fact that I have gained 18 lbs already and you gain the most amount of weight in the last trimester, which I am not even in yet. Part of it is because I am so sick of being nervous all day long. Is he moving enough? Is he moving too much? Am I eating the right stuff? What if I get an infection and he gets it? The anxiety of having him in my belly and not out where I can see what is getting to him, what he is possibly crying about and what he needs is destroying me. Plus, his foot is lodged in my rib cage right now; I could do without that too. I just need to trust my body that it will take care of Finn and he will be healthy and safe.
Next topic, (is anyone getting tired of hearing about either of my boys yet? If so, deal! JK.) I miss my family a lot. Two people in particular: my mother and my little sister. For some reason, since I became pregnant, I get all "mommy! mommy!" Is that normal or I am just a little odd? I love my mother, and since I am technically a mother now, I have begun to realize all that she sacrificed and continues to sacrifice for us. I realize partly because of how she has been about this pregnancy; interested, excited, helpful, loving and just all around amazing. I realize this also because it's exactly what I am doing and will forever continue to do for Finn. I am going to give him everything that is in me, just like my body is doing right now. Gosh, I love this little guy.
Now, to my little sister. KK is the one person I have always been close to. I was kinda mean to her at times, (mostly in the mornings when I am not really nice to ANYONE), but she and I have always had a bond that really no one can understand. Women who taught us in church were always baffled by it, my mother was always intrigued by it, and when we went to the same school, (two years apart), teachers always knew Liz would be keeping an eye on Kristina. I was her guardian, her protector, her "second mother" as she and my mom would call it. When we went on vacations, I would flip if she was out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. A little overprotective, but she honestly never seemed to mind that I was watching her. Even in high school. She didn't seem to care that I would tell guys to go to HELL if they were interested in her, and they were too old, too cocky, too...well, if they were a Football player, there was NO way they were going NEAR her. She didn't mind, (at least I don't think she did.) She kept an eye on me, too and I didn't mind it, (except when I kept skipping math and she told me that was dishonest. I didn't like that only because she was right. Haha.) When I left for college when she was 16, she went into this deep depressed mood that no one could release her from. People from church would call me and tell me the horrible state of things and it worried me. So, after the first semester, I came home to keep an eye on her. I don't know if my parents really liked that idea, but I felt the need to be there to make sure she would be ok. I never regretted that decision. When she began dating my best guy friend, (I was a little wary at first, I'll admit), and they eventually got married, I felt like I could hand the torch over to him. Thing is, I only gave him half the torch. Her husband is an incredibly loving, caring person whom everyone loves the minute they meet him. But, KK was still young and still seeked me out for advice. She still does now, but it has taken a different tone and I am glad. Not that I don't LOVE being there for her, but her hubbs is her main helper now and that is how it should be. (I'll admit, it was difficult letting go, but our relationship is a more mature and bonded one now, and I love it.) When I got married, Luke knew that KK and I had a special relationship and he was ok with it. I made sure he was informed that KK was a VERY important part of my life, and he has never complained about it. He loves her a lot, and would do anything for her or Danny. (He loves Danny A LOT...they regress to children when they are together.) I love my little sister, I miss her every day, I want Finn to know her and love her just as much as I do and he will. I can't wait for them to meet, and have her hold and connect with him. It's a relationship I want more than anything and I know they will have it.
Next topic. Money. Moolah. I hate it, I love it, I always need it. Done. (That's really all I wanted to say about that. I told you it's just thoughts rolling about in there and that was one of them.)
Well, I think that is all the thoughts rolling around that I care to put out on the internet. The rest are, shall we say, a wee bit personal to be broadcast into the tech world. So, enjoy the day!!!

"To each his own, my love."

I totally made up that quote that is my title. I have no idea where it came from, but it fits what I am writing about today....well, sort of. I told Luke last night that I am going to write a book, have tons of fans fall in love with it, make it into a movie and then be rich from it so Luke can retire early and we can give our kids everything they always wanted. I actually think Luke would still want to work even if we did get rich that way, but that's his choice. Funny thing is, he didn't laugh at me or mock me. I said, "I have to think of something that is unique; I obviously can't write about vampires or loving creatures of the night, so what do I write about that will get people's interest?" And, you know what? He grabbed the computer, got on Wikipedia, and started looking up interesting topics he knew about that could be interesting to write into a book. He never fails to impress me. He was actually all for me writing a book; it's one of those aspirations that are hard to actually accomplish, but he didn't even acknowledge that. My wife said she wants to write a book; how can I help her accomplish that? Spoiled, blessed gal, I am and I know it. It makes me very happy to know that even though he is a realist whose motto is, "Plan for the worst, hope for the best", he tries to understand my "all is well" personality and chooses to embrace that part of me. I have tried to do the same with his personality as well. When he gets noticeably stressed about politics, work, finances or any high stress topic, I try to stay open minded and see that he needs to vent and weigh all choices before calming down and making things happen. I really don't mean to toot my own horn about my life, but through hard times and good times, I know that I am truly lucky that Luke wanted me to be his companion through life and for time and all eternity. I will never take him or my blessings for granted, either. Thank you, God!

"Braxton Hicks...sounds like a country band."-My little sister, KK...

I had my 26 week check up today. My in-laws, Annie and Harry, came down yesterday to be there for the appointment so they could see little Finn in action and on screen. They bought us the exact stroller/car seat combination that I had wanted, color and all. I love it, and this morning, while waiting for Luke to finish getting ready, I played with it, admired and imagined walking around with Finn in his preppy, cute stroller.
Last night, my in-laws bought us dinner, and this morning they took us out to breakfast before our OB appointment. I was having my glucose screening test done that morning so I was allowed eggs, potatoes and toast...which is exactly what I ate. it was pleasantly filling, and I was amused that Luke, Annie and Harry all got to watch while I downed the Kool-Aid tasting "Glucola". People who say it the worst thing ever are exagerrating, in my eyes. It was not that bad at all; obviously not something I want the recipe for, but I was fully prepared to start gagging and choking it down. You get 10 minutes to down it, and I finished in 3. Anyhow, they took my blood, but they don't have the results yet so I am waiting. I very highly doubt I have gestational diabetes though. I don't really have any symptoms of it, but we shall see.
Anyhow, starting Saturday night, I began having cramps that were uncomfortable, but not unbareable. I was also having tons of round ligament pain so I thought the cramping could just be an extension of that. It still didn't go away so this morning, I asked the doc about them. He told me they are most likely Braxton Hicks a.k.a. practice contractions. That relieved me, but I didn't get to ask half the questions I wanted because my in-laws were in there with us and some of the questions were semi-personal. Anyhow, after we got home, Luke changed and went straight to work. I ate some chicken fried rice, peed for the 1,000,000 time and laid down. I was still having those darn cramps. I am awake and have done some laundry and made the bed, and I am not feeling cramps so I am happy right now. I can feel the muscles stretching, but no cramping. I still worry, though. I have symptoms that I THINK are normal, but are they? When does maternal instinct kick in? If I think something might be wrong, even if the ultrasound was fine, the baby was moving, fluid was a-plenty and my cervix was closed, does that justify calling or going to the doctor? What if I have an undiagnosed UTI? Or something else that can hurt Finn? Being pregnant is such a chore, and I don't mean the physical part. Yeah sure, back pain STINKS and my ever growing belly is really starting to get in the way, but this mental mind games thing that I do to myself is exhausting and kinda terrible. Oy. I guess I will have to pray that Heavenly Father helps me out and makes sure this pregnancy goes as planned and doesn't go awry. Phooey.

My dreams of being the SAHM!

I am an optimist. A major idealist. My head is always in the clouds, and I have never ending hope that all will turn out ok. Not that I'm not a worry wart, (because I really am), but I always tell my realistic husband, mother and sisters that they shouldn't worry and to just relax, (I am usually quietly flipping out inside). But, to tell you the truth, things do always work out. Maybe not exactly the way we planned, but I still believe that there are a lot of great things happening in this world. I am also religious; I know God has a plan for us all, and He is watching out for us. Horrible things happen and we hear about them daily, (thank you for nothing, media), but what we don't hear are all the amazing and wonderful things happening. Ok, back to my original thought process for this post. I find myself fantasizing about all the things Finn and I are going to do when he comes. I want to put them down on paper...or on my blog. Whatever, I wanna log them somewhere! This blog is for him and his future siblings after all!
I cannot wait to get up with him in the morning and feel his warmth and softness and have him cuddle up to me. Luke says he is going to wake him up every morning before he goes to work so he can see him a bit, but I don't think that's going to happen! If he is already awake, more power to ya! If not, leave him be so I can sleep a bit. I think Luke was teasing, but he is hard to read sometimes. But, babies when they first wake up are a Godsend. I babysat three kids every day, all day for about 5 months after I graduated high school, and one was 3 months old. I LOVED being there when she woke up, having her reach out for me and cuddling her as I made her a bottle. Having a babies head on your shoulder is a feeling like nothing else. I cannot wait to do that for my own son.
I can't wait to leave him to be babysat and then have him beg for me as soon as I come back. I was the babysitter and the moms got to enjoy that when they came home; I can't wait for my turn. He will want only me or daddy, and that is something I am greatly looking forward to. I love feeling needed and this will only feed my addiction even more, (an odd way to say it, I know, but it gets the points across.)
I can't wait to take him to the store, and share my daily life with him. When he is an infant, a toddler, an adolescent, a teen and evenutally a man. I want him around; I want to hear about his life, his eventual experiences and friends, and his inevitable intelligence, (I already know I am going to have a very intelligent kid. There are many forms of intelligence, by the way.)
I can't wait to take him to see my family. My mother, father, sisters, brother in laws, and my super amazing niece, who is more like a sister than a niece in any case. My mom is SO excited he is coming, and I can't wait for him to meet her. She is going to be so excited, and I love seeing her happy. I love seeing my dad happy, too, but he shows it differently. Well, he shows it like a man; he will smile and maybe tear up a little, but he won't be bawling or cooing like crazy like my mom, mother-in-law and sisters will. I am excited for him to meet my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and his uncles and aunts on my husband's side, either. My sister-in-law/best friend has three boys of her own and she will rock at being an aunt to another boy. My other sister-in-law is a recent addition, (I guess it is technically just Luke's sister-in-law because she married his brother, but I claim her as well), but she is a sweetheart and I want Finn to know her, too. My two brother-in-laws are very good with kids, and have huge hearts. They are great guys. I can't wait for him to meet my grandmas, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and my friends. I can't wait for him to meet Luke's relatives and friends either. I have been very blessed with an amazing family on both sides, and I know Finn will benefit from that.
I can't wait to go on new adventures with Finn. Vacations, family trips, the park, the pool, playdates, walks, lemonade stands, school trips, all that stuff. AH! It will be so much fun, and I can't wait to be busy 24/7 with my boys, (Luke and Finn.) I know this is a role that I was supposed to have; I have wanted be a mother since I turned 20, (maybe not right that day, but I knew I was meant to be a wife and mother above all else) and it is all finally happening. WOOT.

(Disclaimer: For all you people out there that are thinking, "Wow. We will see how she feels when she is up at 2 am, feeding a crying baby." Or, "we'll see when he throws all his toys, throws a tantrum, or refuses to do as she says. She won't be singing the same tune then." I said I was an idealist, not an idiot. I know there will be times I want to rip my hair out. This, I KNOW. But, I choose to find the good in everything, not be hung up on the poopy stuff that happens. It's been my philosophy for as long as I can remember, and that won't change because I have become a mother. Thank you, and have a great day everyone!)

Pop! Goes the husband!

This morning, I got up with Luke, made him the lunch I forgot to make last night, chatted with him while he got ready, kissed him goodbye and sent him on his way. He works so hard, it's ridiculous. It's one in the afternoon and our outside thermometer says it's 94 degrees. And, my baby has to work in that all day...with a smile on his face. Heaven only knows how much I truly appreciate him. He doesn't complain either; well, he will say "I'm tired" or tell me about something royally stupid that he had to deal with, but I honestly love listening to him tell me about his day. Because, I know he feels better afterwards, and I know he will ask me how my day was and actually listen. He always thanks me for taking such good care of him, and relaxing him after he has been at work for 12 hours. Welp, it's my pleasure! Thank YOU for going out in 100 degree heat, crawling into 150 degree attics and getting spiderwebs, insulation and rats all over you so that I can stay home, enjoy this pregnancy and eventually stay home with our son and give him 100% of his mother.
It's very important to both of us that I stay at home with our children. Luke is a firm believer that children thrive so well when they have at least one parent there 24/7 to raise them, love them, play with them and can be with them through all the stages of life, (not that working moms don't deserve a huge high five for what they do every day, either. I have amazing amounts of respect for them.) I do think, however, that Luke is a tad jealous that I will be able to see Finn and our future children all day, and he will only see them at night. He is VERY excited about being a father and I think it makes him sad that our kids could potentially be more attached to me than to him. But, that won't be the case. Luke has that special talent for making everyone open up and feel immediately comfortable with him, and I know he will accomplish that with Finn and the rest of the eventual family. It's a good thing, too, because it helps him LOADS at work. He has to go into homes, tell them things are wrong and get them to part with great deals of money. He does it honestly, too, and I can promise you that. He has repeat customers now that will specifically request him because they know he won't try to make them pay for something they don't need. Heavens, I love him.
Wow, you know this blog was going to be about what happened after he left for work, but my mind totally went off on a tangent. Oh, well. The "after sending Luke off to work" story is not that long. I crawled back into bed, closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Instead, Finn started jazzercising so I thought, "I will flip over to my other side and see if that relaxes him a bit." Instead, as I was doing my regular process for flipping to the other side, (heave the tummy to my back, then to my side; move the body pillow with me between my legs and under the tummy; correct the blankets that have been moved off my body from the "process"), my right hip completely popped out. I am not sure exactly what happened, but it felt like my femur was no longer in connection with my hip. Holy heck! I burst into little tears, and prayed for God to put whatever just popped out back. After kneading my hip and trying to resituate, I heard a POP! and my leg was back to normal. Too bad the residual pain left me awake for two more hours. Oh, well. I can walk now and things will get done. After I finish this blog...and write one more. Ha. (You know, it's funny. I hate blogging because I think it's strange, but I love writing in a diary and I am a much faster typer than I am a writer. Weird.)

My aversion to sugar, the elusive spider and TUMS

I am 25 weeks and 3 days. Only 2 weeks and 4 days left until I am officially in the third trimester. Last night, I looked in the mirror and my innie belly button is right at the surface; not popped out just yet, but it's at the same level as the rest of the skin covering my protuding belly. I also a bunch of blue lines all around my tummy; veins? How icky looking. I am jealous of the gals that don't get stretch marks, or varicose veins or...etc, etc, etc. But, I am the envy of their admirations because I got Finn; no, I am just kidding, but I am SO stinking grateful for Finn. I am so grateful that I am young and healthy and able to have a potentially large baby who moves more like he has ADHD already. I am grateful that I haven't had any weird or rude comments; well, besides yesterday: Odd Survey Dude- "Wow, you're so tall. Your husband must be even taller, you know, since you are pregnant." Me- "Uh, I didn't know I could only reproduce with fellow giants." But, to be honest, that didn't bug me. In fact, it pretty much made my day. I was laughing the whole drive home from Wal-Mart. When people touch my belly, it doesn't bother me either. Touch away; I am proud of my stretched out, protruding, extremely imposing belly. I love when Luke talks to my belly like Finn is already a 20 year old man. I wonder if that will last when Finn is out and looks so, well, like a baby. Will Luke all of the sudden start talking like "coochie-coo?" I doubt it, based on what I know about my husband, but we will see. I know he will be an amazing father, no matter how he tones his voice.
But, that whole paragraph has nothing to do with why I am writing this. Now, down to business. I have never been a fan of sugar, and Luke and my whole family know this. They know I would rather eat super salty snacks, rather than feast on donuts, candy or sugary drinks. I mean, I liked them sometimes but very rarely did I crave them. When I got pregnant, however and limped through the first trimester, (puking every day didn't really make me much of an eater), and gained my energy back in the second, I realized not only that sugary food sounded good, but ALL food sounded good. Then, I was woken to another weird pregnancy symptom, (they are ALL weird). Not only did milk make me super queasy, but sugar made me burp and shake like a leaf. My doctor said that sometimes pregnancy will end up changing your entire palate and taste for things. Suddenly, things I loved were no longer good. Things I didn't eat very often, I craved all the time. Pregnancy is SO strange. There, we covered the first topic. On to the next one.
There is this spider. Let's call him William, (that just popped into my head). I was introduced to him yesterday when I ever so innocently unlocked the deadbolt on my front door and felt a few little legs resting on my finger. Introducing himself, it looked like. "Hi, I'm a huge, disgusting black spider. I am the one whose webs you are constantly sweeping away with your brooom." I screamed, jumped back and he ran down the door and hid behind my TV stand. I searched for him, but didn't find him all day. This was the first time I was grateful that our bedroom door is too long and rubs the carpet; he can't get in my room! HA! This morning, I peeked out of our bedroom door, and lo and behold, there was William, chilling on my front door. Bugger. I grabbed Luke's flip flop, and because he saw me coming and probably realized I was NOT the friend he thought I was, he ran up into the crack at the top of the door and still has not come out. I know he didn't go out the other way, because I can still see him, napping or something. As soon as he pops back out, I am determined to win this battle. William, watch out. I don't make friends with huge, ugly spiders. Last subject.
I have become obsessed with TUMS. I didn't know this pre-pregnancy, (although, it is pretty obvious now that it's happening), but your expanding uterus pushes all your organs up and back and out of the way. I am not even fully grown yet, so I haven't had my lungs pushed against my ribs yet and become breathless, but my stomach has been pushed up closer and closer to my throat and this has caused a problem. I have had acid reflux before, but holy crap! Anything I eat, makes my stomach acid come surging up my throat. Insert *gross burp* and *burning pain in throat and chest*. So, I bought some TUMS that were tropical flavored and fell in love. The relief they produce is almost instanteous and it feels so good. Plus, they are full of calcium which is good for Finn. A win-win , in my book. Welp, I think I am done for now. Off to do dishes and try and kill William, then a dip in the pool in this 100 degree heat will do nicely. Have a great day!

The Random Blog of the Senses

So, I am sitting here, listening to myself type away, listening to Luke snore his gorgeous face off, and the TV in the background, (I relax more with noise than without). I am feeling Finn kick my bladder and relax on my sciatic nerve, (darling boy, he is...haha). I can smell that familiar scent of Luke's Irish Spring body wash and his work clothes that smell like wood and sweat, (not necessarily body odor either. More like "hard working man" smell. Love it). I am touching Luke's skin, since he just rolled over and grabbed my arm, putting my hand on his back. I am watching Luke and Finn both twitch and roll, (like father, like son), the TV make weird colors and shapes on the walls, and my hands going super fast on the keyboard, (I'm a fast typer, woot). I can taste my toothpaste and mouth wash, even though I brushed my teeth a couple hours ago, (Listerine packs a punch!)And now, I am sensing that it is time to stop typing and post this darn thing, then snuggle up to my two boys and relax a little. Night, all!

Not computer savvy

I guess I am not computer savvy enough to simply copy and paste the blogs from the What To Expect website to this one...rats. Well, if you wanna read those to catch up, then look up "SesameLove" and read those posts, then return here for...the rest of the story. Ha...a Paul Harvey joke. Only my dad would get that one. Anyhow, tune in later for some more Mitchell family extravanganza! WOOT!