Thoughts for the day...all jumbled and rollin' about!

I have a lot on the mind today. Last night, I cried. For no reason at all; well, maybe a little reason. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luke put it into perspective for the first time for both of us: "Finn will be here in 14 weeks. That's a little over three months. WOW." It made my heart jump a little! 50% was excitement, 50% was HOLY CRAP! We will be in charge of a little human being in about 90 days? Don't get me wrong, I want him here now; part of the overwhelmed feeling is coming from the fact that I have gained 18 lbs already and you gain the most amount of weight in the last trimester, which I am not even in yet. Part of it is because I am so sick of being nervous all day long. Is he moving enough? Is he moving too much? Am I eating the right stuff? What if I get an infection and he gets it? The anxiety of having him in my belly and not out where I can see what is getting to him, what he is possibly crying about and what he needs is destroying me. Plus, his foot is lodged in my rib cage right now; I could do without that too. I just need to trust my body that it will take care of Finn and he will be healthy and safe.
Next topic, (is anyone getting tired of hearing about either of my boys yet? If so, deal! JK.) I miss my family a lot. Two people in particular: my mother and my little sister. For some reason, since I became pregnant, I get all "mommy! mommy!" Is that normal or I am just a little odd? I love my mother, and since I am technically a mother now, I have begun to realize all that she sacrificed and continues to sacrifice for us. I realize partly because of how she has been about this pregnancy; interested, excited, helpful, loving and just all around amazing. I realize this also because it's exactly what I am doing and will forever continue to do for Finn. I am going to give him everything that is in me, just like my body is doing right now. Gosh, I love this little guy.
Now, to my little sister. KK is the one person I have always been close to. I was kinda mean to her at times, (mostly in the mornings when I am not really nice to ANYONE), but she and I have always had a bond that really no one can understand. Women who taught us in church were always baffled by it, my mother was always intrigued by it, and when we went to the same school, (two years apart), teachers always knew Liz would be keeping an eye on Kristina. I was her guardian, her protector, her "second mother" as she and my mom would call it. When we went on vacations, I would flip if she was out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. A little overprotective, but she honestly never seemed to mind that I was watching her. Even in high school. She didn't seem to care that I would tell guys to go to HELL if they were interested in her, and they were too old, too cocky, too...well, if they were a Football player, there was NO way they were going NEAR her. She didn't mind, (at least I don't think she did.) She kept an eye on me, too and I didn't mind it, (except when I kept skipping math and she told me that was dishonest. I didn't like that only because she was right. Haha.) When I left for college when she was 16, she went into this deep depressed mood that no one could release her from. People from church would call me and tell me the horrible state of things and it worried me. So, after the first semester, I came home to keep an eye on her. I don't know if my parents really liked that idea, but I felt the need to be there to make sure she would be ok. I never regretted that decision. When she began dating my best guy friend, (I was a little wary at first, I'll admit), and they eventually got married, I felt like I could hand the torch over to him. Thing is, I only gave him half the torch. Her husband is an incredibly loving, caring person whom everyone loves the minute they meet him. But, KK was still young and still seeked me out for advice. She still does now, but it has taken a different tone and I am glad. Not that I don't LOVE being there for her, but her hubbs is her main helper now and that is how it should be. (I'll admit, it was difficult letting go, but our relationship is a more mature and bonded one now, and I love it.) When I got married, Luke knew that KK and I had a special relationship and he was ok with it. I made sure he was informed that KK was a VERY important part of my life, and he has never complained about it. He loves her a lot, and would do anything for her or Danny. (He loves Danny A LOT...they regress to children when they are together.) I love my little sister, I miss her every day, I want Finn to know her and love her just as much as I do and he will. I can't wait for them to meet, and have her hold and connect with him. It's a relationship I want more than anything and I know they will have it.
Next topic. Money. Moolah. I hate it, I love it, I always need it. Done. (That's really all I wanted to say about that. I told you it's just thoughts rolling about in there and that was one of them.)
Well, I think that is all the thoughts rolling around that I care to put out on the internet. The rest are, shall we say, a wee bit personal to be broadcast into the tech world. So, enjoy the day!!!