Update and the discussion of a "moral compass"

So, first things first. Update on my wee little lad, Finn. He is kicking and punching and moving SO much, and I love it. Love it, love it, love it. I know, you can tell I love it. When he is quiet, I rub my tummy and lightly poke it so he moves. I am probably driving him absolutely crazy since he is most likely trying to get some sleep, but I love watching my tummy move and I love that he is doing great in there. I actually finally have a little faith that my body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. I was worried last week; so much so, that I went back to the OB's office two days after my appointment to make sure some symptoms weren't super bad ones. Turns out I have a mild case of Symphosis Pubis Dysfunction; a fancy way of saying my pubic bone sometimes feels like it is going to split in half. It hurts fairly bad, but it's not preterm labor and Finn doesn't notice it. As long as he is okay, bring the pain! I can take it! I can take anything so this little man of mine will be healthy and safe! Anyhow, he is doing well and I have only three more days until I am officially in the third trimester!!! WOOT!
Next. There is this website I was introduced to while watching a newscast about moms cyber bullying other moms. Seriously? How old are we, ladies? But, anyhow, I looked up this website and became mildly addicted. It was interesting to read what other women went through on a daily basis and what their opinions were, even if they differed from my own. But, holy hannah! Some of those women downright astonished me. Basically, people who have a moral compass, who try to live life correctly, lawfully, are FAITHFUL to their spouses and who don't believe what society tells us is OK necessarily means it's OK, are considered close minded, rigid "prudes". WHAT???!!! I didn't know I was a close minded, rigid prude, but thanks for letting me know! *Insert immense sarcasm* How can living your life drug/alcohol free, not being intimate with my husband before we were married, and believing in being faithful to that man mean I am not living my life correctly? So, I should get drunk, smoke some dope and cheat on Luke? That will make me happy? What about the fact that I have never been happier in my life than now? What about the fact that I have personally seen people live their life in this "free" manner, and they are miserable, alone and I feel horrible for them? I have always lived my life constantly trying to better myself and though I have MANY flaws, I don't think me being moral is one of them.
Yes, I am conservative. Yes, I am a Republican. Yes, I am religious. No, I am not ASHAMED of it. It goes both ways. People who are "free" and live their life with no thought of the consequences judge me because I live with a code of honor and am "old fashioned." Yet, they contantly whine in the media that people like me are judging them. It's a double edged sword, I guess, but in my opinion- this world has started to crumble as soon as we started becoming "modern" and adopting the "live without responsibilities" attitude. Oy. It frustrates me to no end. If people lived with the conscious realization that there are consequences to every action, we wouldn't have abortion, wars, hate, racism, divorce. Now, don't get me wrong. I know there are extenuating circumstances to everything. Divorce can happen due to abuse or infidelity. But, you are divorced because "he/she just isn't the same person"? Counseling people! At least TRY!
Or abortion. Oh, man what a HOT topic for me. I did research on abortion for a speech class and I found that less than 2% of abortions are results of rape. The other 98-99% is because it was inconvenient for the person, didn't fit their lifestyle, they didn't want to lose their figure...BLA, BLA, BLA. There are millions of couples out there that are dying to adopt since they can't have their own. And, you are going to kill a baby because you'll get "fat?" Are you freaking kidding me???!!!! I will listen to other people's opinion when it comes to pretty much anything because I respect that differing opinions are what makes the world go round, but as soon as someone brings up abortion, I stop them. Don't even attempt to tell me why it is OK, but because in no way, shape or form is it OK in my eyes. And it NEVER will be. (On a side note, did you know if a drunk driver killed a pregnant woman and her unborn baby, he would be charged with a double homicide? Even if that same pregnant woman was on her way to an abortion clinic? Interesting.)
Ok, I think I got all that off my chest. Phew. Thanks for listening, reading, whatever. If anyone disagrees with me on anything, (but the abortion topic, of course), I commend you for having your own opinion and beliefs. More power to ya! Thanks everyone and I hope all your summers are going super well!

Thoughts for the day...all jumbled and rollin' about!

I have a lot on the mind today. Last night, I cried. For no reason at all; well, maybe a little reason. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luke put it into perspective for the first time for both of us: "Finn will be here in 14 weeks. That's a little over three months. WOW." It made my heart jump a little! 50% was excitement, 50% was HOLY CRAP! We will be in charge of a little human being in about 90 days? Don't get me wrong, I want him here now; part of the overwhelmed feeling is coming from the fact that I have gained 18 lbs already and you gain the most amount of weight in the last trimester, which I am not even in yet. Part of it is because I am so sick of being nervous all day long. Is he moving enough? Is he moving too much? Am I eating the right stuff? What if I get an infection and he gets it? The anxiety of having him in my belly and not out where I can see what is getting to him, what he is possibly crying about and what he needs is destroying me. Plus, his foot is lodged in my rib cage right now; I could do without that too. I just need to trust my body that it will take care of Finn and he will be healthy and safe.
Next topic, (is anyone getting tired of hearing about either of my boys yet? If so, deal! JK.) I miss my family a lot. Two people in particular: my mother and my little sister. For some reason, since I became pregnant, I get all "mommy! mommy!" Is that normal or I am just a little odd? I love my mother, and since I am technically a mother now, I have begun to realize all that she sacrificed and continues to sacrifice for us. I realize partly because of how she has been about this pregnancy; interested, excited, helpful, loving and just all around amazing. I realize this also because it's exactly what I am doing and will forever continue to do for Finn. I am going to give him everything that is in me, just like my body is doing right now. Gosh, I love this little guy.
Now, to my little sister. KK is the one person I have always been close to. I was kinda mean to her at times, (mostly in the mornings when I am not really nice to ANYONE), but she and I have always had a bond that really no one can understand. Women who taught us in church were always baffled by it, my mother was always intrigued by it, and when we went to the same school, (two years apart), teachers always knew Liz would be keeping an eye on Kristina. I was her guardian, her protector, her "second mother" as she and my mom would call it. When we went on vacations, I would flip if she was out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. A little overprotective, but she honestly never seemed to mind that I was watching her. Even in high school. She didn't seem to care that I would tell guys to go to HELL if they were interested in her, and they were too old, too cocky, too...well, if they were a Football player, there was NO way they were going NEAR her. She didn't mind, (at least I don't think she did.) She kept an eye on me, too and I didn't mind it, (except when I kept skipping math and she told me that was dishonest. I didn't like that only because she was right. Haha.) When I left for college when she was 16, she went into this deep depressed mood that no one could release her from. People from church would call me and tell me the horrible state of things and it worried me. So, after the first semester, I came home to keep an eye on her. I don't know if my parents really liked that idea, but I felt the need to be there to make sure she would be ok. I never regretted that decision. When she began dating my best guy friend, (I was a little wary at first, I'll admit), and they eventually got married, I felt like I could hand the torch over to him. Thing is, I only gave him half the torch. Her husband is an incredibly loving, caring person whom everyone loves the minute they meet him. But, KK was still young and still seeked me out for advice. She still does now, but it has taken a different tone and I am glad. Not that I don't LOVE being there for her, but her hubbs is her main helper now and that is how it should be. (I'll admit, it was difficult letting go, but our relationship is a more mature and bonded one now, and I love it.) When I got married, Luke knew that KK and I had a special relationship and he was ok with it. I made sure he was informed that KK was a VERY important part of my life, and he has never complained about it. He loves her a lot, and would do anything for her or Danny. (He loves Danny A LOT...they regress to children when they are together.) I love my little sister, I miss her every day, I want Finn to know her and love her just as much as I do and he will. I can't wait for them to meet, and have her hold and connect with him. It's a relationship I want more than anything and I know they will have it.
Next topic. Money. Moolah. I hate it, I love it, I always need it. Done. (That's really all I wanted to say about that. I told you it's just thoughts rolling about in there and that was one of them.)
Well, I think that is all the thoughts rolling around that I care to put out on the internet. The rest are, shall we say, a wee bit personal to be broadcast into the tech world. So, enjoy the day!!!

"To each his own, my love."

I totally made up that quote that is my title. I have no idea where it came from, but it fits what I am writing about today....well, sort of. I told Luke last night that I am going to write a book, have tons of fans fall in love with it, make it into a movie and then be rich from it so Luke can retire early and we can give our kids everything they always wanted. I actually think Luke would still want to work even if we did get rich that way, but that's his choice. Funny thing is, he didn't laugh at me or mock me. I said, "I have to think of something that is unique; I obviously can't write about vampires or loving creatures of the night, so what do I write about that will get people's interest?" And, you know what? He grabbed the computer, got on Wikipedia, and started looking up interesting topics he knew about that could be interesting to write into a book. He never fails to impress me. He was actually all for me writing a book; it's one of those aspirations that are hard to actually accomplish, but he didn't even acknowledge that. My wife said she wants to write a book; how can I help her accomplish that? Spoiled, blessed gal, I am and I know it. It makes me very happy to know that even though he is a realist whose motto is, "Plan for the worst, hope for the best", he tries to understand my "all is well" personality and chooses to embrace that part of me. I have tried to do the same with his personality as well. When he gets noticeably stressed about politics, work, finances or any high stress topic, I try to stay open minded and see that he needs to vent and weigh all choices before calming down and making things happen. I really don't mean to toot my own horn about my life, but through hard times and good times, I know that I am truly lucky that Luke wanted me to be his companion through life and for time and all eternity. I will never take him or my blessings for granted, either. Thank you, God!

"Braxton Hicks...sounds like a country band."-My little sister, KK...

I had my 26 week check up today. My in-laws, Annie and Harry, came down yesterday to be there for the appointment so they could see little Finn in action and on screen. They bought us the exact stroller/car seat combination that I had wanted, color and all. I love it, and this morning, while waiting for Luke to finish getting ready, I played with it, admired and imagined walking around with Finn in his preppy, cute stroller.
Last night, my in-laws bought us dinner, and this morning they took us out to breakfast before our OB appointment. I was having my glucose screening test done that morning so I was allowed eggs, potatoes and toast...which is exactly what I ate. it was pleasantly filling, and I was amused that Luke, Annie and Harry all got to watch while I downed the Kool-Aid tasting "Glucola". People who say it the worst thing ever are exagerrating, in my eyes. It was not that bad at all; obviously not something I want the recipe for, but I was fully prepared to start gagging and choking it down. You get 10 minutes to down it, and I finished in 3. Anyhow, they took my blood, but they don't have the results yet so I am waiting. I very highly doubt I have gestational diabetes though. I don't really have any symptoms of it, but we shall see.
Anyhow, starting Saturday night, I began having cramps that were uncomfortable, but not unbareable. I was also having tons of round ligament pain so I thought the cramping could just be an extension of that. It still didn't go away so this morning, I asked the doc about them. He told me they are most likely Braxton Hicks a.k.a. practice contractions. That relieved me, but I didn't get to ask half the questions I wanted because my in-laws were in there with us and some of the questions were semi-personal. Anyhow, after we got home, Luke changed and went straight to work. I ate some chicken fried rice, peed for the 1,000,000 time and laid down. I was still having those darn cramps. I am awake and have done some laundry and made the bed, and I am not feeling cramps so I am happy right now. I can feel the muscles stretching, but no cramping. I still worry, though. I have symptoms that I THINK are normal, but are they? When does maternal instinct kick in? If I think something might be wrong, even if the ultrasound was fine, the baby was moving, fluid was a-plenty and my cervix was closed, does that justify calling or going to the doctor? What if I have an undiagnosed UTI? Or something else that can hurt Finn? Being pregnant is such a chore, and I don't mean the physical part. Yeah sure, back pain STINKS and my ever growing belly is really starting to get in the way, but this mental mind games thing that I do to myself is exhausting and kinda terrible. Oy. I guess I will have to pray that Heavenly Father helps me out and makes sure this pregnancy goes as planned and doesn't go awry. Phooey.

My dreams of being the SAHM!

I am an optimist. A major idealist. My head is always in the clouds, and I have never ending hope that all will turn out ok. Not that I'm not a worry wart, (because I really am), but I always tell my realistic husband, mother and sisters that they shouldn't worry and to just relax, (I am usually quietly flipping out inside). But, to tell you the truth, things do always work out. Maybe not exactly the way we planned, but I still believe that there are a lot of great things happening in this world. I am also religious; I know God has a plan for us all, and He is watching out for us. Horrible things happen and we hear about them daily, (thank you for nothing, media), but what we don't hear are all the amazing and wonderful things happening. Ok, back to my original thought process for this post. I find myself fantasizing about all the things Finn and I are going to do when he comes. I want to put them down on paper...or on my blog. Whatever, I wanna log them somewhere! This blog is for him and his future siblings after all!
I cannot wait to get up with him in the morning and feel his warmth and softness and have him cuddle up to me. Luke says he is going to wake him up every morning before he goes to work so he can see him a bit, but I don't think that's going to happen! If he is already awake, more power to ya! If not, leave him be so I can sleep a bit. I think Luke was teasing, but he is hard to read sometimes. But, babies when they first wake up are a Godsend. I babysat three kids every day, all day for about 5 months after I graduated high school, and one was 3 months old. I LOVED being there when she woke up, having her reach out for me and cuddling her as I made her a bottle. Having a babies head on your shoulder is a feeling like nothing else. I cannot wait to do that for my own son.
I can't wait to leave him to be babysat and then have him beg for me as soon as I come back. I was the babysitter and the moms got to enjoy that when they came home; I can't wait for my turn. He will want only me or daddy, and that is something I am greatly looking forward to. I love feeling needed and this will only feed my addiction even more, (an odd way to say it, I know, but it gets the points across.)
I can't wait to take him to the store, and share my daily life with him. When he is an infant, a toddler, an adolescent, a teen and evenutally a man. I want him around; I want to hear about his life, his eventual experiences and friends, and his inevitable intelligence, (I already know I am going to have a very intelligent kid. There are many forms of intelligence, by the way.)
I can't wait to take him to see my family. My mother, father, sisters, brother in laws, and my super amazing niece, who is more like a sister than a niece in any case. My mom is SO excited he is coming, and I can't wait for him to meet her. She is going to be so excited, and I love seeing her happy. I love seeing my dad happy, too, but he shows it differently. Well, he shows it like a man; he will smile and maybe tear up a little, but he won't be bawling or cooing like crazy like my mom, mother-in-law and sisters will. I am excited for him to meet my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and his uncles and aunts on my husband's side, either. My sister-in-law/best friend has three boys of her own and she will rock at being an aunt to another boy. My other sister-in-law is a recent addition, (I guess it is technically just Luke's sister-in-law because she married his brother, but I claim her as well), but she is a sweetheart and I want Finn to know her, too. My two brother-in-laws are very good with kids, and have huge hearts. They are great guys. I can't wait for him to meet my grandmas, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and my friends. I can't wait for him to meet Luke's relatives and friends either. I have been very blessed with an amazing family on both sides, and I know Finn will benefit from that.
I can't wait to go on new adventures with Finn. Vacations, family trips, the park, the pool, playdates, walks, lemonade stands, school trips, all that stuff. AH! It will be so much fun, and I can't wait to be busy 24/7 with my boys, (Luke and Finn.) I know this is a role that I was supposed to have; I have wanted be a mother since I turned 20, (maybe not right that day, but I knew I was meant to be a wife and mother above all else) and it is all finally happening. WOOT.

(Disclaimer: For all you people out there that are thinking, "Wow. We will see how she feels when she is up at 2 am, feeding a crying baby." Or, "we'll see when he throws all his toys, throws a tantrum, or refuses to do as she says. She won't be singing the same tune then." I said I was an idealist, not an idiot. I know there will be times I want to rip my hair out. This, I KNOW. But, I choose to find the good in everything, not be hung up on the poopy stuff that happens. It's been my philosophy for as long as I can remember, and that won't change because I have become a mother. Thank you, and have a great day everyone!)

Pop! Goes the husband!

This morning, I got up with Luke, made him the lunch I forgot to make last night, chatted with him while he got ready, kissed him goodbye and sent him on his way. He works so hard, it's ridiculous. It's one in the afternoon and our outside thermometer says it's 94 degrees. And, my baby has to work in that all day...with a smile on his face. Heaven only knows how much I truly appreciate him. He doesn't complain either; well, he will say "I'm tired" or tell me about something royally stupid that he had to deal with, but I honestly love listening to him tell me about his day. Because, I know he feels better afterwards, and I know he will ask me how my day was and actually listen. He always thanks me for taking such good care of him, and relaxing him after he has been at work for 12 hours. Welp, it's my pleasure! Thank YOU for going out in 100 degree heat, crawling into 150 degree attics and getting spiderwebs, insulation and rats all over you so that I can stay home, enjoy this pregnancy and eventually stay home with our son and give him 100% of his mother.
It's very important to both of us that I stay at home with our children. Luke is a firm believer that children thrive so well when they have at least one parent there 24/7 to raise them, love them, play with them and can be with them through all the stages of life, (not that working moms don't deserve a huge high five for what they do every day, either. I have amazing amounts of respect for them.) I do think, however, that Luke is a tad jealous that I will be able to see Finn and our future children all day, and he will only see them at night. He is VERY excited about being a father and I think it makes him sad that our kids could potentially be more attached to me than to him. But, that won't be the case. Luke has that special talent for making everyone open up and feel immediately comfortable with him, and I know he will accomplish that with Finn and the rest of the eventual family. It's a good thing, too, because it helps him LOADS at work. He has to go into homes, tell them things are wrong and get them to part with great deals of money. He does it honestly, too, and I can promise you that. He has repeat customers now that will specifically request him because they know he won't try to make them pay for something they don't need. Heavens, I love him.
Wow, you know this blog was going to be about what happened after he left for work, but my mind totally went off on a tangent. Oh, well. The "after sending Luke off to work" story is not that long. I crawled back into bed, closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Instead, Finn started jazzercising so I thought, "I will flip over to my other side and see if that relaxes him a bit." Instead, as I was doing my regular process for flipping to the other side, (heave the tummy to my back, then to my side; move the body pillow with me between my legs and under the tummy; correct the blankets that have been moved off my body from the "process"), my right hip completely popped out. I am not sure exactly what happened, but it felt like my femur was no longer in connection with my hip. Holy heck! I burst into little tears, and prayed for God to put whatever just popped out back. After kneading my hip and trying to resituate, I heard a POP! and my leg was back to normal. Too bad the residual pain left me awake for two more hours. Oh, well. I can walk now and things will get done. After I finish this blog...and write one more. Ha. (You know, it's funny. I hate blogging because I think it's strange, but I love writing in a diary and I am a much faster typer than I am a writer. Weird.)

My aversion to sugar, the elusive spider and TUMS

I am 25 weeks and 3 days. Only 2 weeks and 4 days left until I am officially in the third trimester. Last night, I looked in the mirror and my innie belly button is right at the surface; not popped out just yet, but it's at the same level as the rest of the skin covering my protuding belly. I also a bunch of blue lines all around my tummy; veins? How icky looking. I am jealous of the gals that don't get stretch marks, or varicose veins or...etc, etc, etc. But, I am the envy of their admirations because I got Finn; no, I am just kidding, but I am SO stinking grateful for Finn. I am so grateful that I am young and healthy and able to have a potentially large baby who moves more like he has ADHD already. I am grateful that I haven't had any weird or rude comments; well, besides yesterday: Odd Survey Dude- "Wow, you're so tall. Your husband must be even taller, you know, since you are pregnant." Me- "Uh, I didn't know I could only reproduce with fellow giants." But, to be honest, that didn't bug me. In fact, it pretty much made my day. I was laughing the whole drive home from Wal-Mart. When people touch my belly, it doesn't bother me either. Touch away; I am proud of my stretched out, protruding, extremely imposing belly. I love when Luke talks to my belly like Finn is already a 20 year old man. I wonder if that will last when Finn is out and looks so, well, like a baby. Will Luke all of the sudden start talking like "coochie-coo?" I doubt it, based on what I know about my husband, but we will see. I know he will be an amazing father, no matter how he tones his voice.
But, that whole paragraph has nothing to do with why I am writing this. Now, down to business. I have never been a fan of sugar, and Luke and my whole family know this. They know I would rather eat super salty snacks, rather than feast on donuts, candy or sugary drinks. I mean, I liked them sometimes but very rarely did I crave them. When I got pregnant, however and limped through the first trimester, (puking every day didn't really make me much of an eater), and gained my energy back in the second, I realized not only that sugary food sounded good, but ALL food sounded good. Then, I was woken to another weird pregnancy symptom, (they are ALL weird). Not only did milk make me super queasy, but sugar made me burp and shake like a leaf. My doctor said that sometimes pregnancy will end up changing your entire palate and taste for things. Suddenly, things I loved were no longer good. Things I didn't eat very often, I craved all the time. Pregnancy is SO strange. There, we covered the first topic. On to the next one.
There is this spider. Let's call him William, (that just popped into my head). I was introduced to him yesterday when I ever so innocently unlocked the deadbolt on my front door and felt a few little legs resting on my finger. Introducing himself, it looked like. "Hi, I'm a huge, disgusting black spider. I am the one whose webs you are constantly sweeping away with your brooom." I screamed, jumped back and he ran down the door and hid behind my TV stand. I searched for him, but didn't find him all day. This was the first time I was grateful that our bedroom door is too long and rubs the carpet; he can't get in my room! HA! This morning, I peeked out of our bedroom door, and lo and behold, there was William, chilling on my front door. Bugger. I grabbed Luke's flip flop, and because he saw me coming and probably realized I was NOT the friend he thought I was, he ran up into the crack at the top of the door and still has not come out. I know he didn't go out the other way, because I can still see him, napping or something. As soon as he pops back out, I am determined to win this battle. William, watch out. I don't make friends with huge, ugly spiders. Last subject.
I have become obsessed with TUMS. I didn't know this pre-pregnancy, (although, it is pretty obvious now that it's happening), but your expanding uterus pushes all your organs up and back and out of the way. I am not even fully grown yet, so I haven't had my lungs pushed against my ribs yet and become breathless, but my stomach has been pushed up closer and closer to my throat and this has caused a problem. I have had acid reflux before, but holy crap! Anything I eat, makes my stomach acid come surging up my throat. Insert *gross burp* and *burning pain in throat and chest*. So, I bought some TUMS that were tropical flavored and fell in love. The relief they produce is almost instanteous and it feels so good. Plus, they are full of calcium which is good for Finn. A win-win , in my book. Welp, I think I am done for now. Off to do dishes and try and kill William, then a dip in the pool in this 100 degree heat will do nicely. Have a great day!

The Random Blog of the Senses

So, I am sitting here, listening to myself type away, listening to Luke snore his gorgeous face off, and the TV in the background, (I relax more with noise than without). I am feeling Finn kick my bladder and relax on my sciatic nerve, (darling boy, he is...haha). I can smell that familiar scent of Luke's Irish Spring body wash and his work clothes that smell like wood and sweat, (not necessarily body odor either. More like "hard working man" smell. Love it). I am touching Luke's skin, since he just rolled over and grabbed my arm, putting my hand on his back. I am watching Luke and Finn both twitch and roll, (like father, like son), the TV make weird colors and shapes on the walls, and my hands going super fast on the keyboard, (I'm a fast typer, woot). I can taste my toothpaste and mouth wash, even though I brushed my teeth a couple hours ago, (Listerine packs a punch!)And now, I am sensing that it is time to stop typing and post this darn thing, then snuggle up to my two boys and relax a little. Night, all!

Not computer savvy

I guess I am not computer savvy enough to simply copy and paste the blogs from the What To Expect website to this one...rats. Well, if you wanna read those to catch up, then look up "SesameLove" and read those posts, then return here for...the rest of the story. Ha...a Paul Harvey joke. Only my dad would get that one. Anyhow, tune in later for some more Mitchell family extravanganza! WOOT!

Update!

So, I am starting this blog mainly to electronically document my pregnancy, my wonderful marriage, and my life as a member of the Mitchell family. I am very excited about all the wonderful things happening in my life, and want my babies to be able to read this when they are older and able to comprehend it all! I have been posting blogs on the What To Expect website, but I think this website which is purely dedicated to blogging will serve me better and be easier to access and manage. So, what I am going to do is post the blogs from that website onto this site, and then go on from there!