Mommy wars....

When I got pregnant, I had no idea this battle existed in society. I became a member of a few mommy forums, groups and news sites and my eyes were opened to the incredibly competitive, judgemental and fierce world of the Mommy Wars. I have close to 10 friends who had children close to Finn's age, and I am so relieved to say that none of them are soldiers in this silly charade. They are proud of their children, yes, but they celebrate your children's accomplishments right along with you. On the internet, however, I see how rampant this war has become. Let me give you a few examples.

1. Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding- This is a big one. There are women out there who have become the "Breastfeeding Nazis". If you formula feed, you are a sub par mother/human being. Me? I tried to breastfeed; I know it's the best thing you can feed your newborn. However, Finn being in the NICU, coupled with me having a low lactation supply that didn't satisfy my little piggy's hunger, had Luke buying formula at the supermarket at 4 am. We decided Finn being fed was more important than him starving so we could do things the "right way." My position has always been, "if the kid is fed, then what's the big deal?"

2. Diapers vs. cloth diapering- Not as big as BF vs. FF, but still a debate. Disposable diapers are becoming more and more of a hot topic; they are filling up landfills and enlarge your carbon footprint. Cloth diapering is all natural and more eco friendly, (for the record, I am not on either side of this debate. More power to you for disposing of your childs' waste in any way you deem worthy.) What do I use? Disposable. Am I being selfish? Probably. I cannot think of anything I would rather NOT do than throw away one of Finn's explosive diapers and then wash it. I like the convenience of taking the disposable off, wiping up the man's toosh, and chucking it in our outside garbage. Done deal. I will participate in other activities so as to reduce my footprint, thank you very much.

3. Everything in moderation- Childhood obesity. Reports state it's a real problem in this country. I don't deny that, but I now see, (or rather, read), the extremes people go to so their child will NOT be obese. No TV, ever. No fast food, ever. No processed baby food, ever. Things of that nature. I believe in give and take; I believe in moderation. Finn has watched TV. I try not to let him watch too much, but if he is attached to my leg whining and I really, really need to clean, do laundry or go to the bathroom, Megamind does the trick for the time being. Now, about fast food. I do not give Finn fast food right now; he is only 14 months old and still loves milk, apples, pears and ham. He doesn't need soda, fries and nuggets. That being said, he will get a Happy Meal every once in awhile. I'm not talking as his daily dinner; I make dinner every night so that won't be an issue. But, if we are on vacation and apple slices or carrot sticks just don't cut it, Finn will be able to indulge in a delightful burger and fries...with milk. :) As for processed foods, Finn had jarred baby food when he was starting solids. I had a ton given to me by family and friends and wasn't about to let it go to waste.

4. Working moms vs. Stay at home moms- This one irks me to no end. I hate that women feel the need to dictate to other women how their children should be raised. If the child is healthy, happy, cared for, loved and nurtured, what do you care whether that mom works during the day OR whether that mom stays at home? It's a huge debate, in my researched and well cultivated opinion. I stay at home with Finn; I have a husband that works his tail off so that I can do just that. It was a conversation we had when we were talking about having a family and we both agreed it was best for our family. But, I know families who do not have that luxury; I know moms who need that adult interaction, (heck, sometimes I crave a conversation that doesn't include, "say mama, Finn." "Mama." "Good!" allllllll day long. As a disclaimer, however, I LOVE being home with Finn. It's a ton of fun, and I get to feed my controlling addiction to have the perfect, cleanest house. It's a work in progress.) My point is, do what is best for you family and ignore the naysayers on both sides.

There are other topics, but I think I have made the point that I wanted to make in the first place. Being a mom is a crazy difficult job; I really had no idea until I became one. It is the most rewarding job as well. Do the best you can, and I'm sure it will be enough.

ETA: This blog was inspired by a couple things I was thinking about this morning as I was playing with Finn. You see, pediatricians and mothers everywhere recommend that you take the bottle away and replace it with a sippy cup by 12 months. Finn is 14 months old, and refuses to give up his bottle. And, I give in. It's becoming a major mommy fail for me, and I am frustrated with myself. He wakes up twice a night to have a bottle, and because I know it's bad for his teeth, I have been taking him out and feeding him warm water. It soothes him back into a sleepy slumber. But, I know he shouldn't have it anymore. I have a plethora of reasons for continuing the bottle, (it soothes him, it's the only way he would get his daily intake of whole milk, he doesn't eat much right now so I'm afraid that if his milk and rice cereal bottle is taken away, he will lose weight, etc.) All this has been running through my head since his 1st birthday, but Finn will NOT take a sippy. Any sippy, (I have bought every variation under the sun.) Anyhow, I have given Finn and I a deadline; he has to be fully rid of bottles and only taking sippy cups by the end of the year. That gives us two weeks. Wish us luck, (and have an amazing weekend!)

TTC

Trying To Conceive,(for those who didn't know what that acronym meant.) Luke and I have been TTC a little brother or sister for Finn since the beginning of November. We still aren't pregnant. I know, I know. Really, Liz? Still not pregnant after trying for a month? Call the Fertility Specialist! Ok, that was all sarcastic. I know I shouldn't worry because it has only been a month, but I am. Maybe because Finn was conceived the moment we talked about having a baby. Just like that. Boom. 6 weeks later, and I got a "Pregnant" on my home pregnancy test. I remember falling on the toilet, bawling. I called Luke, who was at a Cardiologist appointment and said, "I know you said to wait and take a test, but I already took one, (enter Luke's knowing sigh), and it was...positive. You're going to be a daddy!"
I can't wait to tell Luke that he is going to be a dad two times over. I can't wait to tell Finn he is going to be a big brother to Charlotte or Dietrich. I can't wait for my belly to be big, hard and round, (not the big, soft, blubbery tummy that was Finn's departing gift as he came into the world.) I can't wait to feel him/her kicking and rolling around; that was my favorite part of being pregnant with Finn. Luke and I still feel like our family is not complete just yet, and seeing Finn play with other kids with such excitement and joy just makes us realize that Finn would greatly benefit from having a live-in best friend/brother/sister. I can't wait to tell my mom, dad, sisters, brothers, neice, brother-in-laws, nephews, and sister-in-laws that the Mitchell clan, CA branch, will be expanding their family once more.
I haven't had this "fever' since...well, since Finn was still a spirit in Heaven, waiting for his mom and dad to decide to build a family. Since Finn was born, my life has been him. Which I love, by the way. But, while Finn was napping one day, I began to watch the videos I had taken of my tummy making weird shapes and Finn's butt sticking out against my skin. Then...the fever began. And it's only gotten worse. Now, it's full on hot!
I must cut this post short; Finn is throwing his food on the floor. Have a great week everyone, and I love you all! :)

Blast from the past...

I have an old blog that was made in May 2008 when Luke and I first started dating. I found an entry about Luke that I love and so I am reposting it here. Everything said then still holds true for me now. :)

HERE IT IS:
So...for the first time in my entire life, I am experiencing love! It's crazy, mind altering and so incredibly wonderful! It's ethereal, insane, scary as all get out and one of most amazing experiences a human being can encounter. I didn't know it was coming; it happened when I least expected it and it totally caught me off guard. I was looking for it for two years, and couldn't find it. I got tired of looking and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. That's when it came from the last place I thought to look. I thought I was always going to meet someone in college, someone I didn't know growing up. Lo and behold, I find myself being pursued by someone whom I have known for an entire decade. Someone whom I was crushing on for my entire teen years; someone who was too cool, too good looking for me. Then, all of a sudden, the tables turned. He was pursuing me; he was crushing on me and being the stubborn, relentless man he is, I finally decided to give him a chance. That was the best decision I have ever made; the scariest and the most unorthodox decision, yes, but the best. I was taking a huge chance on this man; he was WAY different than when he was in high school; more serious, more experienced with life and a lot tougher. But, there was something else that I didn't get to see until I became his girlfriend; this incredible caring, sweet, romantic, amazing, genuine side that I instantly found myself thanking my Heavenly Father every five seconds for bringing him into my life. His kindness, his way of making me feel like I am the only person that matters. I mean the world to him; he loves every part of me, inside and out. What did I do to deserve this incredible person deciding to love me with his whole heart? Me? I still don't understand it sometimes. I am no one special, but he thinks I am the most special. Why? He has told me and they are legitimate, wonderful reasons. Still, he amazes me every second...In conclusion, I am in love. I love him with every piece of me. I have finally found my knight in shining armour. My hopeless romantic fantasies that everyone told me can't come true, have come true! I know he is not perfect, nor am I. I know we will eventually fight and get annoyed with each other and yell and argue. But...I can't think of anyone I would rather fight with, annoy the heck out of, and argue with than him.

My woes and triumphs as a stay at home mommy!

Finn is sitting in his high chair, eating his ham and mandarin oranges. It has taken forever for me to find a way for Finn to eat solids, and not just drink milk all day long. He is a tall fellow, but a lanky, thin one too. I asked his pediatrician about it, and she actually laughed at me. Finn is just under 25 lbs. so I guess I have nothing to worry about. But, still...I worry. Comes with the territory, right? In any case, I have found a way, albeit a kind of strange way, to make him sit and eat. You see, if I put a cartoon on and let him watch while he eats, he unknowningly puts that food away like no ones' business. I know little ones aren't supposed to watch too much TV, but as a way to get Finn to get enough to eat every day, I am making a small exception.
I love this house. I can't wait to decorate it for my favorite holiday this year. I will have to have Luke with me when I go to get the decor because if not, I will spend far too much and go far too crazy, just like I did with Finn's birthday. The house is going to look incredible all festive and decked out. I love Christmas and all the good, calm, loving feelings it brings to my heart and those around me. Last Christmas, Finn was 2 months old; this year, he will be 14 months old and I can't wait to see him show more excitement and love for this holiday as I do. When I put on Christmas music, (which is every day since Halloween, ha), he smiles big and dances a little. I knew he would love the season as much as me! I can't wait until Santa gets to "visit" our house! :)
Finn seriously rocks; he just...is the coolest kid I know. He is so gorgeous, but is also so laidback, happy and chill. I think, though he does show a bit of a Mitchell temper once in awhile, that he is going to have my relaxed personna, (hopefully not mine or Luke's occassional flare for drama, lol.) I really love being a SAHM. I do miss the adult interaction that you get working outside of the home; but, I think about all the things I would miss if I had to leave Finn every day and I'm so glad I have the opportunity to see those milestones and little quirks.
 I'm so grateful to Luke, for working so hard so that I CAN stay home and still have money in the bank. It takes a lot of sacrifice and hard work on his part. I wish people could see how much he has grown, changed and developed in the last 5 years. He is strong, smart, sensitive, romantic, hard working, giving, sarcastic, funny, and an amazing father and husband. Some don't give him that opportunity and they are missing out big time! :)
As for Finn's upcoming diagnosis, I am glad thankful for the support, encouragement and good thoughts from all of our friends, family and loved ones. Finn is very lucky to have so many that love and care for him. Have an amazing weekend, everyone! I love you all so much! :)

The saga continues...

I finally got a phone call from Finn's pediatrician. One of the two blood tests they did, (testing his caryotides level), came back normal. This means, (I'm pretty sure), that there were no malformations or abnormalities in his DNA strands. The other, more extensive test, is still in a lab in Minnesota, ready and waiting to be tested. Finn's insurance approved us seeing Dr. Shwari, (sp?), at Sutter Medical Center in Sacramento and sent the orders to them at 4:00 pm today. At 5:00 pm, Sutter called me and scheduled an appointment for January 9th, 2012, (my dear Kristina's 24th birthday!) We will be seeing this geneticist to get an official diagnosis, an understanding of what it is exactly, and will ask whether any of our subsequent children have a chance of having it. It's really a minor condition, and nothing like what some children and parents go through, but anything negatively affecting Mr. Finnegan, kills me inside. He is on track with everything developmentally, cognitively and mentally. He is walking, running, talking a little, and is as sharp as a tack.
Tonight, I burned myself on the stove and told Finn. Then, I put my finger in front of him and said, "If you kiss it, it will feel all better." He promptly grabbed my hand, and kissed my finger. Then, and I kid you not, he raised one eyebrow at me expectantly. I said loudly, "Mommy is all better! Thank you, baby!" He smiled and went about his business. Such a regal, mature young fellow. I pray for him day and night, that he will be strong, happy, love his Heavenly Father and make the right decisions. I worry that he will one day be teased by other boys that his chest looks different than everyone elses'. I expressed that feeling to Luke and he said, "Are you kidding me? He's going to be the tallest, best looking kid in California. He is going to have NO problems with that." But, just to make me feel better, we looked up and found stories and pictures of professional athletes and bodybuilders with Polands' Syndrome. It made us both feel at ease.
In any case, we have finally made some headway on this thing, and I will update as much as I can on this 'saga." Love you all!

An update on Finn, (the good and the...not so good)

So, Finn had his 1 year well check this morning. he is 24 1/2 lbs, 32 inches and is due for another growth spurt according to his pediatrician, since his head is huge and his body needs to catch up. He waved at her as she was coming in, and later walked to her, (shakily, but he did it!) He is on track with all his milestones, and all parts are running hot, straight and normal. I had made a list of questions to make sure I didn't miss anything, (which is what I usually do; hence the list.) As she was walking out, I remembered the last question. Here is how it went:

Me: "Oh yeah. Hey doc! Is his chest looking like it's growing on track with the rest of his body?"

Doc: "Let me look...I forgot about this. It looks like Poland Syndrome. I can't officially diagnose it, though. Off to see a Geneticist at UC Davis!"

Well, that is not exactly how it went. Let me back track for a second. When Finn was born, he collapsed his right lung. The nurse noticed something was off, (besides the fact that he was off color and not crying), when she saw the left side of his chest. It was caved in and there was no tissue supporting his left nipple. In any case, he was in the NICU for a week for a pneumothorax, (collapsed lung) and pneumonia. The only thing they mentioned about the left side of his chest was that there was no tissue for the left nipple and his ribs were abnormal. They said it wouldn't affect him at all; just a little cosmetic difference.

Throughout his well checks and various other appts, every time I mentioned his chest, they told me the same thing. He has had 6 x-rays throughout his one year of life and no one said anything about a "syndrome." He just looked a little different, (it's really not even that noticeable.)

Fast forward  to today: the only reason anything was discussed about his chest was because I wanted to be proactive in making sure it wouldn't affect him in life. That's the ONLY reason his pediatrician noticed. She looked up his patient records from the day he was born, the time he was transferred to Redding by EMTs and the reports of the NICU doctor, and they NEVER mention his ribs or the lack of muscle tissue in that pectoral area. Uh...why did no one address it? Should I have asked more questions besides just accepting his ribs are a little different, but nothing to worry about? I think, at that time, I was so stressed out that any good, "no problem" type news made me feel a little more relieved. Now...I'm pissed. Sorry about the language usage, but...why all of the sudden are we off to see a Specialist in Birth Defects ONE year later?

In any case, let me explain what Poland Syndrome is, (I have already researched the CRAP out of it.) This syndrome, (named after a man, not the country), is basically where the top ribs on one side are shorter than the other side, which causes the chest to look inverted on one side. In addition, they are lacking the two long, lean pectoral muscles that make up the chest on one sie. They are also lacking tissue for that sides' nipple. Some patients with Poland Syndrome also have shorter fingers or webbed fingers on the affected side, (thank God he doesn't have either. His fingers are NOT webbed and are the same length as his other hand.)

I can't help but feel like this is my fault. It's a genetic birth defect. Should I not have other children? Ah. So many questions. I guess this Specialist will have the answers. In any case, he is my love and he is gorgeous. It won't affect him in any way because all he will know is that he is beautiful inside and out and an amazing kid/boy/man. Prayers, please. Thank you!

1,000,000 dollars!

So, I love the smoothies at McDonalds: specifically, the strawberry banana one. Yum. And, I confess...I love the $3 dollar mini meals there, too. Especially when I am running a million errands and need something small, but quick to satisfy my growling tummy. In any case, they are now doing their annual Monopoly game. I have a bunch of them that I am keeping together so that I might win something. If you get Park Place and Boardwalk together, you win a whopping million dollars. As I was driving away after getting my smoothie and discovering this little bit of information, I started to ponder about what I would get if I miraculously won that 1,000,000 dollars, (and believe me, I am going to try my darndest to win that money!) I have my "adult" list, (which will inevitably win out!), and my "I'm still a kid" list. Here is the adult list:

ADULT
Pay off the house
Fix the garage door
Hire a landscaper to design and execute the backyard
Hire an interior designer to design and decorate the house
Hire a construction co. to add another level and more bedrooms to the house
Give each family member some of the money
Buy a Nissan Armada
Save the rest for kids' colleges/missions
Get 10 years worth of food storage

And here is the "kid" list:

KID
Take entire family, extended as well, on a two week vacation to Disneyland
Travel the world
Shopping spree for me, Luke and my babies
Buy lots of "toys", (boat, mobile home, motorcycle., 1964 Impala for Luke, jewelry, etc.)
Give each family member some of the money

Man, I really wish sometimes that this could all be possible. Not having to worry about bills, being able to enjoy the good and exciting things in life, as opposed to Luke having to slave away every day just to make sure we are secure, (not that I'm not eternally grateful to him for working his tail off, because I most certainly am!); he doesn't get to enjoy the fun things as much as he deserves. Ok, I am off to enjoy the day with my little man. Happy Tuesday! :)
Go on shopping spree for