Mommy wars....

When I got pregnant, I had no idea this battle existed in society. I became a member of a few mommy forums, groups and news sites and my eyes were opened to the incredibly competitive, judgemental and fierce world of the Mommy Wars. I have close to 10 friends who had children close to Finn's age, and I am so relieved to say that none of them are soldiers in this silly charade. They are proud of their children, yes, but they celebrate your children's accomplishments right along with you. On the internet, however, I see how rampant this war has become. Let me give you a few examples.

1. Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding- This is a big one. There are women out there who have become the "Breastfeeding Nazis". If you formula feed, you are a sub par mother/human being. Me? I tried to breastfeed; I know it's the best thing you can feed your newborn. However, Finn being in the NICU, coupled with me having a low lactation supply that didn't satisfy my little piggy's hunger, had Luke buying formula at the supermarket at 4 am. We decided Finn being fed was more important than him starving so we could do things the "right way." My position has always been, "if the kid is fed, then what's the big deal?"

2. Diapers vs. cloth diapering- Not as big as BF vs. FF, but still a debate. Disposable diapers are becoming more and more of a hot topic; they are filling up landfills and enlarge your carbon footprint. Cloth diapering is all natural and more eco friendly, (for the record, I am not on either side of this debate. More power to you for disposing of your childs' waste in any way you deem worthy.) What do I use? Disposable. Am I being selfish? Probably. I cannot think of anything I would rather NOT do than throw away one of Finn's explosive diapers and then wash it. I like the convenience of taking the disposable off, wiping up the man's toosh, and chucking it in our outside garbage. Done deal. I will participate in other activities so as to reduce my footprint, thank you very much.

3. Everything in moderation- Childhood obesity. Reports state it's a real problem in this country. I don't deny that, but I now see, (or rather, read), the extremes people go to so their child will NOT be obese. No TV, ever. No fast food, ever. No processed baby food, ever. Things of that nature. I believe in give and take; I believe in moderation. Finn has watched TV. I try not to let him watch too much, but if he is attached to my leg whining and I really, really need to clean, do laundry or go to the bathroom, Megamind does the trick for the time being. Now, about fast food. I do not give Finn fast food right now; he is only 14 months old and still loves milk, apples, pears and ham. He doesn't need soda, fries and nuggets. That being said, he will get a Happy Meal every once in awhile. I'm not talking as his daily dinner; I make dinner every night so that won't be an issue. But, if we are on vacation and apple slices or carrot sticks just don't cut it, Finn will be able to indulge in a delightful burger and fries...with milk. :) As for processed foods, Finn had jarred baby food when he was starting solids. I had a ton given to me by family and friends and wasn't about to let it go to waste.

4. Working moms vs. Stay at home moms- This one irks me to no end. I hate that women feel the need to dictate to other women how their children should be raised. If the child is healthy, happy, cared for, loved and nurtured, what do you care whether that mom works during the day OR whether that mom stays at home? It's a huge debate, in my researched and well cultivated opinion. I stay at home with Finn; I have a husband that works his tail off so that I can do just that. It was a conversation we had when we were talking about having a family and we both agreed it was best for our family. But, I know families who do not have that luxury; I know moms who need that adult interaction, (heck, sometimes I crave a conversation that doesn't include, "say mama, Finn." "Mama." "Good!" allllllll day long. As a disclaimer, however, I LOVE being home with Finn. It's a ton of fun, and I get to feed my controlling addiction to have the perfect, cleanest house. It's a work in progress.) My point is, do what is best for you family and ignore the naysayers on both sides.

There are other topics, but I think I have made the point that I wanted to make in the first place. Being a mom is a crazy difficult job; I really had no idea until I became one. It is the most rewarding job as well. Do the best you can, and I'm sure it will be enough.

ETA: This blog was inspired by a couple things I was thinking about this morning as I was playing with Finn. You see, pediatricians and mothers everywhere recommend that you take the bottle away and replace it with a sippy cup by 12 months. Finn is 14 months old, and refuses to give up his bottle. And, I give in. It's becoming a major mommy fail for me, and I am frustrated with myself. He wakes up twice a night to have a bottle, and because I know it's bad for his teeth, I have been taking him out and feeding him warm water. It soothes him back into a sleepy slumber. But, I know he shouldn't have it anymore. I have a plethora of reasons for continuing the bottle, (it soothes him, it's the only way he would get his daily intake of whole milk, he doesn't eat much right now so I'm afraid that if his milk and rice cereal bottle is taken away, he will lose weight, etc.) All this has been running through my head since his 1st birthday, but Finn will NOT take a sippy. Any sippy, (I have bought every variation under the sun.) Anyhow, I have given Finn and I a deadline; he has to be fully rid of bottles and only taking sippy cups by the end of the year. That gives us two weeks. Wish us luck, (and have an amazing weekend!)