Since we have only 10 weeks until Finn makes his debut, I have started thinking about my birth plan. Some women write out exactly what they want and go over it with their OB/GYN. I haven't done that yet, but I am sure my Dr. will ask me soon what my plans are. To be honest, there are only a few things I am specific about. I really just want them to do whatever they can to make sure Finn is ok and gets the least traumatizing experience he can. I am very open to having an epidural, which everyone is almost 100% sure I will have, (they all think I am a wimp; I am a little bit, to be honest. hehe.)
I am going to TRY and deliver naturally. Luke is pushing me to just have an epidural as soon as possible; whenever I have been in pain, he gets very protective and a little strained. He wants me to be as comfortable as possible. I really, really want to deliver naturally; I would definitely rather not have a C-Section. Based on how textbook/normal this pregnancy has been, I have little to fear about that. I don't want a ton of people in the room, besides my sisters, my mom and Luke. Oh, and the regular doctors and nurses. But, as little staff as possible would be nice. I am VERY modest and I would rather not have a million random strangers staring at my hoo-ha. I want my mom, my eldest sister, my baby sister and my hubbs in there. My mom and Lydia, (my eldest sister), are super strong and will be a HUGE help. My little sister, Kristina, will be my sappy, loving one who will help me feel calm and in my optimistic, "gooey" state. Luke is my rock, my solid foundation that will know exactly what to say to be there for me and the baby. He will know what questions to ask and will keep an eye on me, the baby and all that is going on. I am very grateful for the amazing support that I have.
In short, (haha), I don't have a specific plan, except to make sure Finn is HEALTHY, HAPPY and SAFE. Other than that, keep my family with me, and let it be quick and pain free, (I'm kidding, of course.) Have a great day and a wonderful week!
P.S. - 30 WEEKS TODAY!!!
The going-ons of our little family, which started with one TALL gal and one IRISH man and soon became the third and fourth TALL, IRISH little men! Enjoy! :)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
A stroke of genius!!!
I had a dream last night...and it made me really happy. You may remember from a past post that I want to write a book, (no, it will not be about vampires, though I do confess that I love Twilight). Well, my dream was my inspiration. I am not going to delve into the plot or the subplot, but I think it is pure genius. I told Luke about my idea, and he said it had major potential to be an innovative and great idea. He also said a good story could be about one of his ancestors that experienced something similar to what one of my characters in my story experiences. I cannot wait to start writing. I think a good title would be wise. JM Barrie said that, in some variation anyhow. I just need to run it by my little sister, who is the other person I tell everything to and if she approves, I will begin! (I may begin tonight just to try my hand at it!) I even chose who would play the main characters if it ever got made into a movie!
Anyhow, have a good night everyone and have an amazing weekend!
Anyhow, have a good night everyone and have an amazing weekend!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
"Don't worry, baby. Everything will turn out all right...
I am listening to the Beach Boys, hence the title. I don't think Finn likes it, though. He stopped moving the second I started playing it. Or, maybe it puts him to sleep. Who knows? All I know is I am so exhausted, I feel like a zombie. I am coming up on 30 weeks, and I feel like sleeping until then. I never sleep at night because Luke and I are now cramped for space, since my tummy is large and imposing and Luke doesn't want to accidentally punch or knee me. Plus, my hips and legs radiate pain and I can't lay on my back or tummy so I just flip back and forth every 15 minutes and that is a process in and of itself.
I am writing this and then I must do the never ending dishes, pick up some dirty clothes and make this bed. I feel better when things are at least picked up and semi-clean. It just takes TONS of motivation to actually start doing these chores. Once I start, though, I can't stop until I am red faced and sweaty. It's about 110 degrees outside today. Painfully hot, and I feel bad for Luke. He has been having a rough week at work and I am sure this heat doesn't help too much. But, he has been in an amazingly great mood as soon as he gets home though.
Is there a point to this particular blog spot? Not really. Just writing out what is going on in my head. This is what my thought process is: "Sleeeeeeppppp....must clean THEN sleeeepppp...." That's pretty much it. Ok. I will follow what my brain and body are saying must be done. Hope everyone's summer is going well! Have a great sunny day!
I am writing this and then I must do the never ending dishes, pick up some dirty clothes and make this bed. I feel better when things are at least picked up and semi-clean. It just takes TONS of motivation to actually start doing these chores. Once I start, though, I can't stop until I am red faced and sweaty. It's about 110 degrees outside today. Painfully hot, and I feel bad for Luke. He has been having a rough week at work and I am sure this heat doesn't help too much. But, he has been in an amazingly great mood as soon as he gets home though.
Is there a point to this particular blog spot? Not really. Just writing out what is going on in my head. This is what my thought process is: "Sleeeeeeppppp....must clean THEN sleeeepppp...." That's pretty much it. Ok. I will follow what my brain and body are saying must be done. Hope everyone's summer is going well! Have a great sunny day!
Monday, July 12, 2010
"Bobbing along, on the bottom of the beautiful briney sea..."
It's late. Luke is sleeping in a very funny way; on his back, with his fingers intertwined like he is praying. Love it. I am feeling Finn wiggle and shake, and watching an action flick that I love. My tummy is getting huge, my innie is now an outie and I have some nasty stretch marks that Luke says, "look like they hurt." Not physically, sweetie, but a little mentally. I DO NOT like them. But, they are worth it to have my baby boy. I am starting to get very short of breath, which I figure is normal because my stomach is getting more and more enormous every day. I like having a big, pregnant tummy almost all the time, except when trying to sleep or trying to clean and pick up things; it puts a little damper on doing things day to day. I haven't had a normal nights' rest in quite awhile, but maybe that is to prep me for the restless nights when my little sesame seed is here.
I am a little irritated with finances right now. No, we are not broke, but we are trying to buy a car without getting a loan and although we have some saved, we were counting on a considerable amount of money from our tax return to pump up our savings. The IRS accepted my return, but put it on hold because of my new last name change confused them. I have attempted to rectify the issue on FOUR different occassions and every time, they tell me they fixed it but they still haven't. Now, I am having to contact an Assistance program. Today, I called them and the guy was snippy and sounded lethargic or drunk or both. I am calling again tomorrow and I PRAY that I will talk to someone who can solve the problem finally or at least give me a straight answer. I am getting SO sick of it all. Plus, I hate dealing with things like this on the phone. I much prefer doing it in person so I can tell the full story without getting interrupted. Ok, whining is over!
After we get the car, I would like to move into a nicer home while we are building our house that we will actually own. I cannot wait to be a homeowner and decorate and have new, nicer things. I don't mind our home right now. It is big enough for a baby and Luke and I, but I believe there are some mold problems underneath the linoleum in the kitchen and laundry room. I don't want Finn inhaling that. We will see if the landlord will pay for an inspector to check it out and if all is well, then we can stay here until our home is done. If there is mold, we need to move quick! I have only 11 weeks until my baby boy will be here! So much to do, so little time. Other than that, we just need to set up his nursery, (we have all the furniture), and get everything ready for his arrival!
These days, I really just think about Finn, Luke, and the future, which entails many things. I will be a mother; I will be a wife; I will be a homeowner; I will be one day a college graduate. I will be a teacher. All of these things excite me so much, and I think that's kind of amusing. They certainly aren't exciting things, but they are things I really want and I am so excited they are beginning to take shape. I thank God every day for all my blessings and I hope to never take them for granted.
There are other things going on in my life, and my families life that aren't so great. They are rather personal, but I am hoping one day to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We will see. Good night everyone!
I am a little irritated with finances right now. No, we are not broke, but we are trying to buy a car without getting a loan and although we have some saved, we were counting on a considerable amount of money from our tax return to pump up our savings. The IRS accepted my return, but put it on hold because of my new last name change confused them. I have attempted to rectify the issue on FOUR different occassions and every time, they tell me they fixed it but they still haven't. Now, I am having to contact an Assistance program. Today, I called them and the guy was snippy and sounded lethargic or drunk or both. I am calling again tomorrow and I PRAY that I will talk to someone who can solve the problem finally or at least give me a straight answer. I am getting SO sick of it all. Plus, I hate dealing with things like this on the phone. I much prefer doing it in person so I can tell the full story without getting interrupted. Ok, whining is over!
After we get the car, I would like to move into a nicer home while we are building our house that we will actually own. I cannot wait to be a homeowner and decorate and have new, nicer things. I don't mind our home right now. It is big enough for a baby and Luke and I, but I believe there are some mold problems underneath the linoleum in the kitchen and laundry room. I don't want Finn inhaling that. We will see if the landlord will pay for an inspector to check it out and if all is well, then we can stay here until our home is done. If there is mold, we need to move quick! I have only 11 weeks until my baby boy will be here! So much to do, so little time. Other than that, we just need to set up his nursery, (we have all the furniture), and get everything ready for his arrival!
These days, I really just think about Finn, Luke, and the future, which entails many things. I will be a mother; I will be a wife; I will be a homeowner; I will be one day a college graduate. I will be a teacher. All of these things excite me so much, and I think that's kind of amusing. They certainly aren't exciting things, but they are things I really want and I am so excited they are beginning to take shape. I thank God every day for all my blessings and I hope to never take them for granted.
There are other things going on in my life, and my families life that aren't so great. They are rather personal, but I am hoping one day to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We will see. Good night everyone!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
"We get it! You love him!"
I am sure my friends and family are SO tired of hearing about how much I love Luke, and how blessed I am. I am really sure they are. I might be tired of hearing it too, if I was in their shoes. Well, I'm not when it comes to my sisters and my mother. They all married wonderful men, too. Kristina's hubby is one of the kindest, most hilarious guys on the planet. Not one single person doesn't love Danny. My eldest sister, Lydia's husband is extremely hard working and completely dedicated to my sister and their daughter. He teases my sisters and I, but he does it out of love. My other older sister, Rebecca's, late husband was a very sensitive and caring soul. He was a troubled guy with a troubled past, but the more I hung out with him towards the end of his life, the more I saw his loving, tender side. He was also a HILARIOUS guy with a goofy disposition.
There was a time, however, when I thought I would never be married. I remember the day I turned 20, something inside me just clicked. Before then, I had never wanted to be married or have children. I wanted to be a famous actress/model and show the world that you can be famous whilst keeping your morals and traditions. But, when I turned 20, all of a sudden, a different fire was lit under my hiney. I wanted to get married, and have 8 kids! Well, maybe not 8, but I wanted babies!!! I was living in Utah, away from those I loved the most, and all three of my sisters were married. Lydia had been for awhile, Rebecca had just married the year before, and Kristina got married the Summer of 2006. My baby sister...married...before me. People might think I was jealous, and I was for a little bit. Noe because she rubbed it in or anything like that. But, because now I was the only one left, and with no prospects. In fact, my self confidence had been so shot by a series of experiences and people in college that no one wanted me. Oh sure, they all said I was beautiful, but beauty only takes you so far if you don't have the confidence to back it up. So, I wasn't jealous. Just depressed that I might not ever get to wear the fancy white dress and marry a man who loved me more than air. But, I held out hope that Heavenly Father would send me this cute, sweet, tall Mormon boy who never did any wrong in his life. That' s what I thought I wanted. Then came Luke. HA.
Luke was raised Mormon, but strayed away after a series of very unfortunate and horrible occurences in his life. He began to do all the things we were told as church members NOT to do. I have known him since we were 12, (another story), and had a huge thing for him. He did not return the feelings until he saw me again when we were 19. Apparently, I got really, really good looking, (I thought I looked the same.) It would take him 3 years of trying to court me and me turning him down before I gave him a chance. He has a tattoo, but he was going back to church, was cleaning up his life and was trying to integrate the things that used to make him happy back in his life; God and the Gospel. When I decided to give him a chance, I was surprised at how I felt right after saying I would date him. Pure and utter relief! I felt like this was it! I am done looking! And, guess what? I was right! I have never once regretted my decision to date him, marry him or have children with him.
Luke is my rock, my main support system. He is the strongest, most intense person I have ever met. It can be intimidating to people who first meet him, but it's one of my favorite things about him. He worships the ground I walk on; not in a weird way, of course. But, I feel safe with him. I know he would die before letting anything happen to me or Finn. He says things about me to people without being shy of his sensitive feelings. He kisses me and holds my hand in public. He compliments me daily and always tells me loves me. I know God was up there, laughing His face off when I was asking Him if I would ever find someone to love me. He was probably thinking, Hold on, Liz! He is getting ready for you!
In short, (HA), I know people probably say ENOUGH ALREADY! when I talk about how blessed I am to have Luke. But, I feel I owe it to God to say thank you over and over again for giving me such a blessing that is my husband. So...thanks again, God!
There was a time, however, when I thought I would never be married. I remember the day I turned 20, something inside me just clicked. Before then, I had never wanted to be married or have children. I wanted to be a famous actress/model and show the world that you can be famous whilst keeping your morals and traditions. But, when I turned 20, all of a sudden, a different fire was lit under my hiney. I wanted to get married, and have 8 kids! Well, maybe not 8, but I wanted babies!!! I was living in Utah, away from those I loved the most, and all three of my sisters were married. Lydia had been for awhile, Rebecca had just married the year before, and Kristina got married the Summer of 2006. My baby sister...married...before me. People might think I was jealous, and I was for a little bit. Noe because she rubbed it in or anything like that. But, because now I was the only one left, and with no prospects. In fact, my self confidence had been so shot by a series of experiences and people in college that no one wanted me. Oh sure, they all said I was beautiful, but beauty only takes you so far if you don't have the confidence to back it up. So, I wasn't jealous. Just depressed that I might not ever get to wear the fancy white dress and marry a man who loved me more than air. But, I held out hope that Heavenly Father would send me this cute, sweet, tall Mormon boy who never did any wrong in his life. That' s what I thought I wanted. Then came Luke. HA.
Luke was raised Mormon, but strayed away after a series of very unfortunate and horrible occurences in his life. He began to do all the things we were told as church members NOT to do. I have known him since we were 12, (another story), and had a huge thing for him. He did not return the feelings until he saw me again when we were 19. Apparently, I got really, really good looking, (I thought I looked the same.) It would take him 3 years of trying to court me and me turning him down before I gave him a chance. He has a tattoo, but he was going back to church, was cleaning up his life and was trying to integrate the things that used to make him happy back in his life; God and the Gospel. When I decided to give him a chance, I was surprised at how I felt right after saying I would date him. Pure and utter relief! I felt like this was it! I am done looking! And, guess what? I was right! I have never once regretted my decision to date him, marry him or have children with him.
Luke is my rock, my main support system. He is the strongest, most intense person I have ever met. It can be intimidating to people who first meet him, but it's one of my favorite things about him. He worships the ground I walk on; not in a weird way, of course. But, I feel safe with him. I know he would die before letting anything happen to me or Finn. He says things about me to people without being shy of his sensitive feelings. He kisses me and holds my hand in public. He compliments me daily and always tells me loves me. I know God was up there, laughing His face off when I was asking Him if I would ever find someone to love me. He was probably thinking, Hold on, Liz! He is getting ready for you!
In short, (HA), I know people probably say ENOUGH ALREADY! when I talk about how blessed I am to have Luke. But, I feel I owe it to God to say thank you over and over again for giving me such a blessing that is my husband. So...thanks again, God!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Update and the discussion of a "moral compass"
So, first things first. Update on my wee little lad, Finn. He is kicking and punching and moving SO much, and I love it. Love it, love it, love it. I know, you can tell I love it. When he is quiet, I rub my tummy and lightly poke it so he moves. I am probably driving him absolutely crazy since he is most likely trying to get some sleep, but I love watching my tummy move and I love that he is doing great in there. I actually finally have a little faith that my body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. I was worried last week; so much so, that I went back to the OB's office two days after my appointment to make sure some symptoms weren't super bad ones. Turns out I have a mild case of Symphosis Pubis Dysfunction; a fancy way of saying my pubic bone sometimes feels like it is going to split in half. It hurts fairly bad, but it's not preterm labor and Finn doesn't notice it. As long as he is okay, bring the pain! I can take it! I can take anything so this little man of mine will be healthy and safe! Anyhow, he is doing well and I have only three more days until I am officially in the third trimester!!! WOOT!
Next. There is this website I was introduced to while watching a newscast about moms cyber bullying other moms. Seriously? How old are we, ladies? But, anyhow, I looked up this website and became mildly addicted. It was interesting to read what other women went through on a daily basis and what their opinions were, even if they differed from my own. But, holy hannah! Some of those women downright astonished me. Basically, people who have a moral compass, who try to live life correctly, lawfully, are FAITHFUL to their spouses and who don't believe what society tells us is OK necessarily means it's OK, are considered close minded, rigid "prudes". WHAT???!!! I didn't know I was a close minded, rigid prude, but thanks for letting me know! *Insert immense sarcasm* How can living your life drug/alcohol free, not being intimate with my husband before we were married, and believing in being faithful to that man mean I am not living my life correctly? So, I should get drunk, smoke some dope and cheat on Luke? That will make me happy? What about the fact that I have never been happier in my life than now? What about the fact that I have personally seen people live their life in this "free" manner, and they are miserable, alone and I feel horrible for them? I have always lived my life constantly trying to better myself and though I have MANY flaws, I don't think me being moral is one of them.
Yes, I am conservative. Yes, I am a Republican. Yes, I am religious. No, I am not ASHAMED of it. It goes both ways. People who are "free" and live their life with no thought of the consequences judge me because I live with a code of honor and am "old fashioned." Yet, they contantly whine in the media that people like me are judging them. It's a double edged sword, I guess, but in my opinion- this world has started to crumble as soon as we started becoming "modern" and adopting the "live without responsibilities" attitude. Oy. It frustrates me to no end. If people lived with the conscious realization that there are consequences to every action, we wouldn't have abortion, wars, hate, racism, divorce. Now, don't get me wrong. I know there are extenuating circumstances to everything. Divorce can happen due to abuse or infidelity. But, you are divorced because "he/she just isn't the same person"? Counseling people! At least TRY!
Or abortion. Oh, man what a HOT topic for me. I did research on abortion for a speech class and I found that less than 2% of abortions are results of rape. The other 98-99% is because it was inconvenient for the person, didn't fit their lifestyle, they didn't want to lose their figure...BLA, BLA, BLA. There are millions of couples out there that are dying to adopt since they can't have their own. And, you are going to kill a baby because you'll get "fat?" Are you freaking kidding me???!!!! I will listen to other people's opinion when it comes to pretty much anything because I respect that differing opinions are what makes the world go round, but as soon as someone brings up abortion, I stop them. Don't even attempt to tell me why it is OK, but because in no way, shape or form is it OK in my eyes. And it NEVER will be. (On a side note, did you know if a drunk driver killed a pregnant woman and her unborn baby, he would be charged with a double homicide? Even if that same pregnant woman was on her way to an abortion clinic? Interesting.)
Ok, I think I got all that off my chest. Phew. Thanks for listening, reading, whatever. If anyone disagrees with me on anything, (but the abortion topic, of course), I commend you for having your own opinion and beliefs. More power to ya! Thanks everyone and I hope all your summers are going super well!
Next. There is this website I was introduced to while watching a newscast about moms cyber bullying other moms. Seriously? How old are we, ladies? But, anyhow, I looked up this website and became mildly addicted. It was interesting to read what other women went through on a daily basis and what their opinions were, even if they differed from my own. But, holy hannah! Some of those women downright astonished me. Basically, people who have a moral compass, who try to live life correctly, lawfully, are FAITHFUL to their spouses and who don't believe what society tells us is OK necessarily means it's OK, are considered close minded, rigid "prudes". WHAT???!!! I didn't know I was a close minded, rigid prude, but thanks for letting me know! *Insert immense sarcasm* How can living your life drug/alcohol free, not being intimate with my husband before we were married, and believing in being faithful to that man mean I am not living my life correctly? So, I should get drunk, smoke some dope and cheat on Luke? That will make me happy? What about the fact that I have never been happier in my life than now? What about the fact that I have personally seen people live their life in this "free" manner, and they are miserable, alone and I feel horrible for them? I have always lived my life constantly trying to better myself and though I have MANY flaws, I don't think me being moral is one of them.
Yes, I am conservative. Yes, I am a Republican. Yes, I am religious. No, I am not ASHAMED of it. It goes both ways. People who are "free" and live their life with no thought of the consequences judge me because I live with a code of honor and am "old fashioned." Yet, they contantly whine in the media that people like me are judging them. It's a double edged sword, I guess, but in my opinion- this world has started to crumble as soon as we started becoming "modern" and adopting the "live without responsibilities" attitude. Oy. It frustrates me to no end. If people lived with the conscious realization that there are consequences to every action, we wouldn't have abortion, wars, hate, racism, divorce. Now, don't get me wrong. I know there are extenuating circumstances to everything. Divorce can happen due to abuse or infidelity. But, you are divorced because "he/she just isn't the same person"? Counseling people! At least TRY!
Or abortion. Oh, man what a HOT topic for me. I did research on abortion for a speech class and I found that less than 2% of abortions are results of rape. The other 98-99% is because it was inconvenient for the person, didn't fit their lifestyle, they didn't want to lose their figure...BLA, BLA, BLA. There are millions of couples out there that are dying to adopt since they can't have their own. And, you are going to kill a baby because you'll get "fat?" Are you freaking kidding me???!!!! I will listen to other people's opinion when it comes to pretty much anything because I respect that differing opinions are what makes the world go round, but as soon as someone brings up abortion, I stop them. Don't even attempt to tell me why it is OK, but because in no way, shape or form is it OK in my eyes. And it NEVER will be. (On a side note, did you know if a drunk driver killed a pregnant woman and her unborn baby, he would be charged with a double homicide? Even if that same pregnant woman was on her way to an abortion clinic? Interesting.)
Ok, I think I got all that off my chest. Phew. Thanks for listening, reading, whatever. If anyone disagrees with me on anything, (but the abortion topic, of course), I commend you for having your own opinion and beliefs. More power to ya! Thanks everyone and I hope all your summers are going super well!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thoughts for the day...all jumbled and rollin' about!
I have a lot on the mind today. Last night, I cried. For no reason at all; well, maybe a little reason. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luke put it into perspective for the first time for both of us: "Finn will be here in 14 weeks. That's a little over three months. WOW." It made my heart jump a little! 50% was excitement, 50% was HOLY CRAP! We will be in charge of a little human being in about 90 days? Don't get me wrong, I want him here now; part of the overwhelmed feeling is coming from the fact that I have gained 18 lbs already and you gain the most amount of weight in the last trimester, which I am not even in yet. Part of it is because I am so sick of being nervous all day long. Is he moving enough? Is he moving too much? Am I eating the right stuff? What if I get an infection and he gets it? The anxiety of having him in my belly and not out where I can see what is getting to him, what he is possibly crying about and what he needs is destroying me. Plus, his foot is lodged in my rib cage right now; I could do without that too. I just need to trust my body that it will take care of Finn and he will be healthy and safe.
Next topic, (is anyone getting tired of hearing about either of my boys yet? If so, deal! JK.) I miss my family a lot. Two people in particular: my mother and my little sister. For some reason, since I became pregnant, I get all "mommy! mommy!" Is that normal or I am just a little odd? I love my mother, and since I am technically a mother now, I have begun to realize all that she sacrificed and continues to sacrifice for us. I realize partly because of how she has been about this pregnancy; interested, excited, helpful, loving and just all around amazing. I realize this also because it's exactly what I am doing and will forever continue to do for Finn. I am going to give him everything that is in me, just like my body is doing right now. Gosh, I love this little guy.
Now, to my little sister. KK is the one person I have always been close to. I was kinda mean to her at times, (mostly in the mornings when I am not really nice to ANYONE), but she and I have always had a bond that really no one can understand. Women who taught us in church were always baffled by it, my mother was always intrigued by it, and when we went to the same school, (two years apart), teachers always knew Liz would be keeping an eye on Kristina. I was her guardian, her protector, her "second mother" as she and my mom would call it. When we went on vacations, I would flip if she was out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. A little overprotective, but she honestly never seemed to mind that I was watching her. Even in high school. She didn't seem to care that I would tell guys to go to HELL if they were interested in her, and they were too old, too cocky, too...well, if they were a Football player, there was NO way they were going NEAR her. She didn't mind, (at least I don't think she did.) She kept an eye on me, too and I didn't mind it, (except when I kept skipping math and she told me that was dishonest. I didn't like that only because she was right. Haha.) When I left for college when she was 16, she went into this deep depressed mood that no one could release her from. People from church would call me and tell me the horrible state of things and it worried me. So, after the first semester, I came home to keep an eye on her. I don't know if my parents really liked that idea, but I felt the need to be there to make sure she would be ok. I never regretted that decision. When she began dating my best guy friend, (I was a little wary at first, I'll admit), and they eventually got married, I felt like I could hand the torch over to him. Thing is, I only gave him half the torch. Her husband is an incredibly loving, caring person whom everyone loves the minute they meet him. But, KK was still young and still seeked me out for advice. She still does now, but it has taken a different tone and I am glad. Not that I don't LOVE being there for her, but her hubbs is her main helper now and that is how it should be. (I'll admit, it was difficult letting go, but our relationship is a more mature and bonded one now, and I love it.) When I got married, Luke knew that KK and I had a special relationship and he was ok with it. I made sure he was informed that KK was a VERY important part of my life, and he has never complained about it. He loves her a lot, and would do anything for her or Danny. (He loves Danny A LOT...they regress to children when they are together.) I love my little sister, I miss her every day, I want Finn to know her and love her just as much as I do and he will. I can't wait for them to meet, and have her hold and connect with him. It's a relationship I want more than anything and I know they will have it.
Next topic. Money. Moolah. I hate it, I love it, I always need it. Done. (That's really all I wanted to say about that. I told you it's just thoughts rolling about in there and that was one of them.)
Well, I think that is all the thoughts rolling around that I care to put out on the internet. The rest are, shall we say, a wee bit personal to be broadcast into the tech world. So, enjoy the day!!!
Next topic, (is anyone getting tired of hearing about either of my boys yet? If so, deal! JK.) I miss my family a lot. Two people in particular: my mother and my little sister. For some reason, since I became pregnant, I get all "mommy! mommy!" Is that normal or I am just a little odd? I love my mother, and since I am technically a mother now, I have begun to realize all that she sacrificed and continues to sacrifice for us. I realize partly because of how she has been about this pregnancy; interested, excited, helpful, loving and just all around amazing. I realize this also because it's exactly what I am doing and will forever continue to do for Finn. I am going to give him everything that is in me, just like my body is doing right now. Gosh, I love this little guy.
Now, to my little sister. KK is the one person I have always been close to. I was kinda mean to her at times, (mostly in the mornings when I am not really nice to ANYONE), but she and I have always had a bond that really no one can understand. Women who taught us in church were always baffled by it, my mother was always intrigued by it, and when we went to the same school, (two years apart), teachers always knew Liz would be keeping an eye on Kristina. I was her guardian, her protector, her "second mother" as she and my mom would call it. When we went on vacations, I would flip if she was out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. A little overprotective, but she honestly never seemed to mind that I was watching her. Even in high school. She didn't seem to care that I would tell guys to go to HELL if they were interested in her, and they were too old, too cocky, too...well, if they were a Football player, there was NO way they were going NEAR her. She didn't mind, (at least I don't think she did.) She kept an eye on me, too and I didn't mind it, (except when I kept skipping math and she told me that was dishonest. I didn't like that only because she was right. Haha.) When I left for college when she was 16, she went into this deep depressed mood that no one could release her from. People from church would call me and tell me the horrible state of things and it worried me. So, after the first semester, I came home to keep an eye on her. I don't know if my parents really liked that idea, but I felt the need to be there to make sure she would be ok. I never regretted that decision. When she began dating my best guy friend, (I was a little wary at first, I'll admit), and they eventually got married, I felt like I could hand the torch over to him. Thing is, I only gave him half the torch. Her husband is an incredibly loving, caring person whom everyone loves the minute they meet him. But, KK was still young and still seeked me out for advice. She still does now, but it has taken a different tone and I am glad. Not that I don't LOVE being there for her, but her hubbs is her main helper now and that is how it should be. (I'll admit, it was difficult letting go, but our relationship is a more mature and bonded one now, and I love it.) When I got married, Luke knew that KK and I had a special relationship and he was ok with it. I made sure he was informed that KK was a VERY important part of my life, and he has never complained about it. He loves her a lot, and would do anything for her or Danny. (He loves Danny A LOT...they regress to children when they are together.) I love my little sister, I miss her every day, I want Finn to know her and love her just as much as I do and he will. I can't wait for them to meet, and have her hold and connect with him. It's a relationship I want more than anything and I know they will have it.
Next topic. Money. Moolah. I hate it, I love it, I always need it. Done. (That's really all I wanted to say about that. I told you it's just thoughts rolling about in there and that was one of them.)
Well, I think that is all the thoughts rolling around that I care to put out on the internet. The rest are, shall we say, a wee bit personal to be broadcast into the tech world. So, enjoy the day!!!
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