Mommy wars....

When I got pregnant, I had no idea this battle existed in society. I became a member of a few mommy forums, groups and news sites and my eyes were opened to the incredibly competitive, judgemental and fierce world of the Mommy Wars. I have close to 10 friends who had children close to Finn's age, and I am so relieved to say that none of them are soldiers in this silly charade. They are proud of their children, yes, but they celebrate your children's accomplishments right along with you. On the internet, however, I see how rampant this war has become. Let me give you a few examples.

1. Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding- This is a big one. There are women out there who have become the "Breastfeeding Nazis". If you formula feed, you are a sub par mother/human being. Me? I tried to breastfeed; I know it's the best thing you can feed your newborn. However, Finn being in the NICU, coupled with me having a low lactation supply that didn't satisfy my little piggy's hunger, had Luke buying formula at the supermarket at 4 am. We decided Finn being fed was more important than him starving so we could do things the "right way." My position has always been, "if the kid is fed, then what's the big deal?"

2. Diapers vs. cloth diapering- Not as big as BF vs. FF, but still a debate. Disposable diapers are becoming more and more of a hot topic; they are filling up landfills and enlarge your carbon footprint. Cloth diapering is all natural and more eco friendly, (for the record, I am not on either side of this debate. More power to you for disposing of your childs' waste in any way you deem worthy.) What do I use? Disposable. Am I being selfish? Probably. I cannot think of anything I would rather NOT do than throw away one of Finn's explosive diapers and then wash it. I like the convenience of taking the disposable off, wiping up the man's toosh, and chucking it in our outside garbage. Done deal. I will participate in other activities so as to reduce my footprint, thank you very much.

3. Everything in moderation- Childhood obesity. Reports state it's a real problem in this country. I don't deny that, but I now see, (or rather, read), the extremes people go to so their child will NOT be obese. No TV, ever. No fast food, ever. No processed baby food, ever. Things of that nature. I believe in give and take; I believe in moderation. Finn has watched TV. I try not to let him watch too much, but if he is attached to my leg whining and I really, really need to clean, do laundry or go to the bathroom, Megamind does the trick for the time being. Now, about fast food. I do not give Finn fast food right now; he is only 14 months old and still loves milk, apples, pears and ham. He doesn't need soda, fries and nuggets. That being said, he will get a Happy Meal every once in awhile. I'm not talking as his daily dinner; I make dinner every night so that won't be an issue. But, if we are on vacation and apple slices or carrot sticks just don't cut it, Finn will be able to indulge in a delightful burger and fries...with milk. :) As for processed foods, Finn had jarred baby food when he was starting solids. I had a ton given to me by family and friends and wasn't about to let it go to waste.

4. Working moms vs. Stay at home moms- This one irks me to no end. I hate that women feel the need to dictate to other women how their children should be raised. If the child is healthy, happy, cared for, loved and nurtured, what do you care whether that mom works during the day OR whether that mom stays at home? It's a huge debate, in my researched and well cultivated opinion. I stay at home with Finn; I have a husband that works his tail off so that I can do just that. It was a conversation we had when we were talking about having a family and we both agreed it was best for our family. But, I know families who do not have that luxury; I know moms who need that adult interaction, (heck, sometimes I crave a conversation that doesn't include, "say mama, Finn." "Mama." "Good!" allllllll day long. As a disclaimer, however, I LOVE being home with Finn. It's a ton of fun, and I get to feed my controlling addiction to have the perfect, cleanest house. It's a work in progress.) My point is, do what is best for you family and ignore the naysayers on both sides.

There are other topics, but I think I have made the point that I wanted to make in the first place. Being a mom is a crazy difficult job; I really had no idea until I became one. It is the most rewarding job as well. Do the best you can, and I'm sure it will be enough.

ETA: This blog was inspired by a couple things I was thinking about this morning as I was playing with Finn. You see, pediatricians and mothers everywhere recommend that you take the bottle away and replace it with a sippy cup by 12 months. Finn is 14 months old, and refuses to give up his bottle. And, I give in. It's becoming a major mommy fail for me, and I am frustrated with myself. He wakes up twice a night to have a bottle, and because I know it's bad for his teeth, I have been taking him out and feeding him warm water. It soothes him back into a sleepy slumber. But, I know he shouldn't have it anymore. I have a plethora of reasons for continuing the bottle, (it soothes him, it's the only way he would get his daily intake of whole milk, he doesn't eat much right now so I'm afraid that if his milk and rice cereal bottle is taken away, he will lose weight, etc.) All this has been running through my head since his 1st birthday, but Finn will NOT take a sippy. Any sippy, (I have bought every variation under the sun.) Anyhow, I have given Finn and I a deadline; he has to be fully rid of bottles and only taking sippy cups by the end of the year. That gives us two weeks. Wish us luck, (and have an amazing weekend!)

TTC

Trying To Conceive,(for those who didn't know what that acronym meant.) Luke and I have been TTC a little brother or sister for Finn since the beginning of November. We still aren't pregnant. I know, I know. Really, Liz? Still not pregnant after trying for a month? Call the Fertility Specialist! Ok, that was all sarcastic. I know I shouldn't worry because it has only been a month, but I am. Maybe because Finn was conceived the moment we talked about having a baby. Just like that. Boom. 6 weeks later, and I got a "Pregnant" on my home pregnancy test. I remember falling on the toilet, bawling. I called Luke, who was at a Cardiologist appointment and said, "I know you said to wait and take a test, but I already took one, (enter Luke's knowing sigh), and it was...positive. You're going to be a daddy!"
I can't wait to tell Luke that he is going to be a dad two times over. I can't wait to tell Finn he is going to be a big brother to Charlotte or Dietrich. I can't wait for my belly to be big, hard and round, (not the big, soft, blubbery tummy that was Finn's departing gift as he came into the world.) I can't wait to feel him/her kicking and rolling around; that was my favorite part of being pregnant with Finn. Luke and I still feel like our family is not complete just yet, and seeing Finn play with other kids with such excitement and joy just makes us realize that Finn would greatly benefit from having a live-in best friend/brother/sister. I can't wait to tell my mom, dad, sisters, brothers, neice, brother-in-laws, nephews, and sister-in-laws that the Mitchell clan, CA branch, will be expanding their family once more.
I haven't had this "fever' since...well, since Finn was still a spirit in Heaven, waiting for his mom and dad to decide to build a family. Since Finn was born, my life has been him. Which I love, by the way. But, while Finn was napping one day, I began to watch the videos I had taken of my tummy making weird shapes and Finn's butt sticking out against my skin. Then...the fever began. And it's only gotten worse. Now, it's full on hot!
I must cut this post short; Finn is throwing his food on the floor. Have a great week everyone, and I love you all! :)

Blast from the past...

I have an old blog that was made in May 2008 when Luke and I first started dating. I found an entry about Luke that I love and so I am reposting it here. Everything said then still holds true for me now. :)

HERE IT IS:
So...for the first time in my entire life, I am experiencing love! It's crazy, mind altering and so incredibly wonderful! It's ethereal, insane, scary as all get out and one of most amazing experiences a human being can encounter. I didn't know it was coming; it happened when I least expected it and it totally caught me off guard. I was looking for it for two years, and couldn't find it. I got tired of looking and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. That's when it came from the last place I thought to look. I thought I was always going to meet someone in college, someone I didn't know growing up. Lo and behold, I find myself being pursued by someone whom I have known for an entire decade. Someone whom I was crushing on for my entire teen years; someone who was too cool, too good looking for me. Then, all of a sudden, the tables turned. He was pursuing me; he was crushing on me and being the stubborn, relentless man he is, I finally decided to give him a chance. That was the best decision I have ever made; the scariest and the most unorthodox decision, yes, but the best. I was taking a huge chance on this man; he was WAY different than when he was in high school; more serious, more experienced with life and a lot tougher. But, there was something else that I didn't get to see until I became his girlfriend; this incredible caring, sweet, romantic, amazing, genuine side that I instantly found myself thanking my Heavenly Father every five seconds for bringing him into my life. His kindness, his way of making me feel like I am the only person that matters. I mean the world to him; he loves every part of me, inside and out. What did I do to deserve this incredible person deciding to love me with his whole heart? Me? I still don't understand it sometimes. I am no one special, but he thinks I am the most special. Why? He has told me and they are legitimate, wonderful reasons. Still, he amazes me every second...In conclusion, I am in love. I love him with every piece of me. I have finally found my knight in shining armour. My hopeless romantic fantasies that everyone told me can't come true, have come true! I know he is not perfect, nor am I. I know we will eventually fight and get annoyed with each other and yell and argue. But...I can't think of anyone I would rather fight with, annoy the heck out of, and argue with than him.

My woes and triumphs as a stay at home mommy!

Finn is sitting in his high chair, eating his ham and mandarin oranges. It has taken forever for me to find a way for Finn to eat solids, and not just drink milk all day long. He is a tall fellow, but a lanky, thin one too. I asked his pediatrician about it, and she actually laughed at me. Finn is just under 25 lbs. so I guess I have nothing to worry about. But, still...I worry. Comes with the territory, right? In any case, I have found a way, albeit a kind of strange way, to make him sit and eat. You see, if I put a cartoon on and let him watch while he eats, he unknowningly puts that food away like no ones' business. I know little ones aren't supposed to watch too much TV, but as a way to get Finn to get enough to eat every day, I am making a small exception.
I love this house. I can't wait to decorate it for my favorite holiday this year. I will have to have Luke with me when I go to get the decor because if not, I will spend far too much and go far too crazy, just like I did with Finn's birthday. The house is going to look incredible all festive and decked out. I love Christmas and all the good, calm, loving feelings it brings to my heart and those around me. Last Christmas, Finn was 2 months old; this year, he will be 14 months old and I can't wait to see him show more excitement and love for this holiday as I do. When I put on Christmas music, (which is every day since Halloween, ha), he smiles big and dances a little. I knew he would love the season as much as me! I can't wait until Santa gets to "visit" our house! :)
Finn seriously rocks; he just...is the coolest kid I know. He is so gorgeous, but is also so laidback, happy and chill. I think, though he does show a bit of a Mitchell temper once in awhile, that he is going to have my relaxed personna, (hopefully not mine or Luke's occassional flare for drama, lol.) I really love being a SAHM. I do miss the adult interaction that you get working outside of the home; but, I think about all the things I would miss if I had to leave Finn every day and I'm so glad I have the opportunity to see those milestones and little quirks.
 I'm so grateful to Luke, for working so hard so that I CAN stay home and still have money in the bank. It takes a lot of sacrifice and hard work on his part. I wish people could see how much he has grown, changed and developed in the last 5 years. He is strong, smart, sensitive, romantic, hard working, giving, sarcastic, funny, and an amazing father and husband. Some don't give him that opportunity and they are missing out big time! :)
As for Finn's upcoming diagnosis, I am glad thankful for the support, encouragement and good thoughts from all of our friends, family and loved ones. Finn is very lucky to have so many that love and care for him. Have an amazing weekend, everyone! I love you all so much! :)