So, I was browsing through Pinterest after the boys went to sleep and I found this great, not so little questionnaire of essential things you want your children to know about you. I figured, since the boys are asleep, Luke is otherwise occupied and I actually have a few minutes, that I would answer them here and leave it for my progeny. Little did I know, but it actually took four nights for me to finish. I might ask Luke to answer them as well and put his responses here since it is just as important for them to know their father as it is to know their mother. I also tried to write this as though the boys were reading so I say "you" when referring to them. I hope that isn't too confusing! There may be punctuation or grammatical errors and I apologize in advance. I tried to be as honest as possible, so some answers are mildly personal. Nothing that no one can't handle, though. ;)
NOTE: I am a little behind on posts, (Dietrichs' 1st birthday, our family vacations, etc.) but they are coming on another night when I have more motivation. Stay tuned! :)
30 things I want Finn, Dietrich and my future babies to know about their Mother
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
a. I have always been scared of the dark.
b. I love to eat and have always had a love/hate relationship with food.
c. I bite my tongue more times than I would like to admit and sometimes wish I could just say what was on my mind.
d. I would have 100 kids if I didn't need sleep to function.
e. I love you more than I love anyone and anything, including myself.
f. I love your father more than I can describe. I am one of those saps that believe in soul mates and I know without a doubt that your father is mine.
g. I have wanted to be a mother more than any career since I turned 20. Don't ask why that age; I just turned 20 and wanted to be someone's mother all of a sudden.
h. I used to want to be an actress. I even got accepted into a modeling agency at 16, but my mom decided not to let me. I am so glad she made that decision.
i. I am truly happy.
j. I used to hate being 6'3''. Now, I can't imagine being smaller.
k. I really want to go back to school, but am scared I will fail miserably.
l. My favorite thing to do used to be going out with friends and staying out late. My new favorite thing is being asleep by 10.
m. Your dad has a bad mouth. I don't and I am proud of that. ;)
n. I waited until I was married to be intimate with your father. I can only hope you respect the women you love enough to do the same.
o. I have only felt true fear a couple times in my life, (so far.)
p. I cry a lot, and not just when I am sad.
q. I believe that hugs and kisses can cure just about anything.
r. I have never tasted alcohol.
s. I lack self confidence, but will always try to make sure you don't. :)
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears
a. The Dark. I am terrified of pure darkness and can only say that I believe my vivid, sometimes weird imagination is the reason.
b. Tight Spaces. I am a classic claustrophobic. My theory is because I am tall and full figured so getting stuck in a space is pretty easy for me. That, and I HATE not being in control.
c. Losing my sons or my husband. In the last five years, I have seen friends lose children and family lose spouses. Needless to say, my life would cease without you and your dad. I worry about it every day.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
I have already said above and in many previous posts, that I love your dad more than life. We have been married just over 4 years and he is amazing. He works far too much and is gone a lot of the time, but that is because he wants you to have anything and everything you could want or need. Your dad and I get along 99.9% of the time and when we do get irritated with each other, you don't see it. And, you don't need to. You need to know that your mother and father love each other very much and want you to have the same kind of fun, happy and healthy relationship that we have.
4. List 8 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
a. The "popular" people in high school are NOT people you should aspire to be.
b. Being kind and loving to your fellow man will get you far in life...plus, it feels good.
c. Open your mind and do as many things as you can, but remember to have fun too!
d. Push yourself.
e. The right thing is usually the hardest thing.
f. Love your body just the way God made it.
g. Don't be ashamed of your own personal style.
h. Be outspoken and don't be afraid to voice your opinion to anyone, including teachers. Just do so respectfully.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
a. My husband, Luke.
b. My sons, Finn and Dietrich.
c. My bed.
d. My house.
e. The Gospel.
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
a. My ideal weight and body shape.
b. My family sealed for time and all eternity, (almost there though!)
c. My house paid for. ;)
7. What is your dream job, and why?
Besides being a mother, I have always wanted to teach. My dream job would be a high school English teacher, all while going to school to get my Ph.D and eventually be a professor for a local college, (the school is not as important as the subject I would be teaching.) I would also love to be an Author and write about things that are always bouncing around in my head.
8. What are 5 passions you have?
a. I am passionate about my children and my job as a mother.
b. I am passionate about Luke and our relationship.
c. I am passionate about love and romance.
d. I am passionate about God, Christ and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints.
e. I am passionate about music, books, and the English language.
9. List 6 people who have influenced you and describe how.
a. My parents. They showed me neverending love, encouragement and gave me the strength to be me. They taught me to lead a Christ centered life and have always been there for me.
b. My sisters. They have been my longest running support group, my best friends, and my biggest challenges. I love them more every day.
c. A couple roommates from college. Some have been my friends and support staff. Others were my trials and broke me down until I had to build myself back up into an almost entirely new person. A better person, I think. So, I thank them too!
d. Luke. He "got" me when I was still gaining my confidence back and he has never stopped continuing to build it back up. He also taught me things no one but a "tough" man like him could.
e. Finn. You made me a mother. Not just that, but a mother to a boy who is strong, tough, resilient, analytical and fierce. You are starting to look more and more like a Stuevens every day and I hope you maintain the proud, strong and kind persona you have now.
f. Dietrich. You made me tough. You're so young now, but you already have more personality than some adults show. You are passionate, loud, animated and happy 99.9% of the time. You are truly your fathers' son.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
Honestly, I think I blocked out my most embarrassing moments because I am having a hard time recalling one. I think my most embarrassing moment would be about 8 months ago. I was sitting in church, waiting for Relief Society to start and a woman, who had no ill intentions, sat next to me and asked if I had always been fat. I didn't know whether to cry, scream or stand up and walk away. Instead, I just told her that I used to be quite thin and then my two monster children obliterated my body and I was working on getting it back. :)
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
a. Chewing with your mouth open.
b. Adult feet touching me, (this includes your dad.)
c. Floaties in my drink.
d. People who judge someone before they know them.
e. People who express their opinions and things they think they know in a rude or holier-than-thou manner.
f. Tactless people.
g. People who don't help the less fortunate.
h. Complainers, (and I mean
constant complaining, not just here or there.)
I. Dropping things over and over again and not being able to get a grip on it, (I swear, this happens to me every day.)
j. Bugs crawling on me. :)
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
In my current life, I am 27, Luke and I have been married 4 years and I have two sons: Finn who is three and Dietrich, who is one. This is my typical schedule for my current life as a SAHM.
7:00am- Boys wake me up and we change diapers/pull ups and get dressed, (dad is already at work.)
7:30am-I make breakfast for the boys and myself.
8:00am to 11:30am- Play time for the boys while I do chores, run errands with the boys, write bills, answer emails/phone calls and break up fights.
11:30am- I start making lunch.
Noon- Lunch for the boys and myself
12:30pm to 2:00pm- Dietrich goes down for a nap and Finn and I play/watch a movie.
2:00pm to 5:00pm- Play time, inside, while I continue to clean or outside, while I watch.
5:00pm to 5:45 or 6:00pm- I make dinner while the boys play and run around.
6:00pm to 6:45pm- Bath time/PJs, then a little quiet play time.
6:45-7:00pm-Sippys to drink, then brush teeth, get our favorite toys and blankets and head to bed.
7:00pm- Bedtime for boys!
7:00pm to10:00pm- My time to shower, write on my blog, read news, spend time with Luke, watch my programs, and generally relax and have some downtime.
10:00pm to7:00am- Sleep as much as possible, while waking and checking on you two at least 10 times. :)
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
Bills. No, seriously. I hate money. I am in charge of our finances since Luke hates it even more than I do and gets more visibly stressed about it. Though Luke works A LOT and has a position where he makes enough to sustain us, pay our bills and even leave some left in the bank, money still always makes me anxious. I now understand what my parents had to go through, making sure we four girls had everything we needed, paid bills, paid for school activities and even bought us cars, (granted, they were old and not BMWs, but we still had cars!) Though I do love being a SAHM, I am sometimes wondering if there is something I can do to add more money to our bank accounts. I miss the time when I was young and there were no real responsibilities besides staying clean, making friends and doing my homework. I can only hope I teach you guys about fiscal responsibility.
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses and 5 strengths you have.
WEAKNESSES
1. I am a doormat sometimes, (far too passive!)
2. I don't like conflict so I avoid at all costs, sometimes even going into my own little "dream world."
3. I don't have the proper amount of motivation to take care of myself. By the end of the day, I am exhausted and now my body and mind are starting to suffer.
4. I can be a little overly defensive of myself, Luke and my children. I can complain about them, (including myself), but get pretty darn irritated when someone else points out those same flaws.
5. I am overly emotional and a tad dramatic at times.
STRENGTHS
1. I am not a complainer, (I try so hard not to be!), and will do whatever it takes to stay tough.
2. I am 100% devoted to Luke and my children.
3. I am intelligent and educate myself about different subjects that interest me.
4. I am loving, caring and always look for the best in people.
5. I will never hurt, cheat or be dishonest to anyone, especially my friends and family.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
I met your dad when we were 12. I had met your Aunt Rachel, (Luke's twin), at Girls Camp the summer of 1997? and we were best friends an hour later. I saw Luke when I went with my mom to meet up with Rachels' mom and pick Rach up for a visit, (she lived in Lakeview, OR and I lived in Klamath Falls, OR.) Even though I was already 5'11'' at the time and Luke was about 5', he was/is charismatic, had/has a killer smile and super adorable freckles. I became friends with him over the years and always harbored a pretty intense crush. He had the same girlfriend from age 15-19, and even she could sense that I was a threat, (little did she know!) We lost contact but saw each other again when he was newly single, and I was home for the summer from USU. We were 19. I thought he was still taken so I was friendly, but not flirtatious. Luke was also 5'11'' now and I was 6'3''.The tables had turned this time, and suddenly Luke found himself surprisingly, (to me and him), attracted and very interested. In fact, he told a fellow employee that he had found his wife. Through an odd occurrence when we were 21, (his older brother, Paul, was visiting an old mission companion in UT, who happened to be my roommate's brother and my good friend. We hung out while he was there and when Paul told Luke he saw me, Luke was able to acquire my number and the "courting" began.) Luke pursued me heavily for a long time until I finally agreed to date him. We were 23. I knew he was the one before we even started dating; honestly, I had known it all along. I always had a "feeling" around him that I didn't have with any other crush and I think I said "no" to him so many times because I knew when I said "yes" that I was saying it to my future husband. Of course, I didn't tell him that, for fear he would run the other way. Of course, he later told me the "I found my wife!" story and we laughed that we both had known we were meant to be before we were even together. When he proposed, I prayed about it and got a pretty loud, resounding "yes!" so I knew I was making the right decision. I have yet to regret that decision. :)
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
1. As of right now, my two sons.
2. Buying a house by the time I was 25.
3. Getting sealed to my family in the temple, (happening this year!)
4. Staying clean, chaste and pure my entire life.
5. Being independent from my family, (if you know my family and how close we are, that is quite an accomplishment. Not to say that I am still not close to them because I am!)
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Working out and having the motivation and willpower to eat cleaner.
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
I can tell you what he'd say, because he has said it before. He said he loves how kind and loving I am to everyone I meet. He said I balance his passionate, intense personality with my calm demeanor and I relax him. He also said I always see the positive side of things and it makes him feel happier and more optimistic being around me. :)
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
Any parent can tell you, that there really are no words to describe that feeling. I feel like I became a mother the second I saw that positive pregnancy test. When I first heard Finns' heartbeat, my own heart soared. And when Finn was first placed on my chest and I saw his face, I felt that known feeling of love, expanded a billion times. I felt like I had accomplished something no other woman had; of course, zillions of women before and after me had done the same thing. But none of them had given birth to my 8lb 14oz Finnegan Leo Mitchell. He was pieces of the love of my life and me, and there is nothing more complete than that. I was even worried when I was pregnant with Dietrich; how could I love another baby as much as I love Finn? Of course, I didn't know that my heart could grow even more and when Dietrich was handed to Luke and I saw his face, (C Section), I thought I would burst. That is the best way I can describe it!
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
1. I remember cleaning my room while KK was cleaning hers. Suddenly, she started singing our National Anthem and I joined in. I then marched out, grabbed our American flag and began parading around the living room singing as loud as I could, KK behind me following suit. After we were done, we saluted the flag, I returned it to it's spot and we went back to cleaning our rooms. Never said a word to each other. That memory is a huge indication of my little sister and my relationship. Random, hilarious, fun and we never have to say a word to know what the other is thinking.
2. I remember fighting one of our many fights with my older sister, Rebecca. I was so furious that I went to my bedroom and threw the first thing I could find. It happened to be my scriptures. It fell open and I saw a marked verse that essentially said, "If you need comfort, pray." I went to my bathroom and prayed and sobbed for a good 20 minutes. I swear to this day, that I felt someone hugging me and I knew it was my Savior. Even now, it makes me cry knowing that He knew I needed Him and He was there.
3.One of my favorite memories is when my whole family, mom and dad included, would have water fights inside the house with cups, bowls and the spray nozzle from the kitchen sink. I loved being so free and messy with my family and knowing that it was okay to make a mess and let loose, (so long as we helped clean up afterwards.) Honestly, I have a hard time coming up with a bad memory. I was fortunate to grow up in a loving and comforting home.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
My parents are two of my heroes and my best friends. My dad is an older, male version of me. He has my humor, my ticks and my personality, flaws and all. He is quiet, loving and super smart and witty, (those are qualities he has that I don't, lol.) My mom is hard headed, strong, willful and super intelligent. She is an extremely hard worker, a major realist and an incredible grandma and mother.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
In 5 years, I will be almost 33. I see myself finishing school and hopefully teaching. I will hopefully have one more child. Finn, you will be almost 8. Getting ready to be baptized! Dietrich, you will be 6 and probably as wild are you are now! Luke will hopefully be a dept manager at work and will hopefully be happy!
In 10 years, I will hopefully be teaching and we hopefully will have a second house, (a goal of ours.) Finn, you will be almost 13 and a teenager. That terrifies me just thinking about it. Dietrich, you will be 11 and getting ready to be the top class in your elementary school. My third child will be school age by then as well, (if all goes the way we planned), and I will be returning to work. Luke will probably still be at his company and hopefully climbing his way up the ladder, (since that is his goal!)
In 15 years, I will still be teaching and hopefully will have acquired my Ph.D by then. Just call me Dr. Mitchell! Finn, you will be almost 18 and getting ready to graduate. Then, a mission or the military for you! ;) Dietrich, you will be 15 and still my favorite redhead! My youngest will maybe be 12, and Luke will be working his tail off, as he always does.
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
Christmas!!! There are a few reasons: 1. I love the decorations and general feelings of love and peace throughout the world. 2. It's when we celebrate the Savior's birth and it's hard not to feel the Spirit during the holiday. 3. I love all the family traditions. 4. It's three days before my birthday! :)
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
My favorite things are watching you guys grow, develop, learn and explore the world around you. I love hearing "I love you, mom" and seeing your smiles. I love your individual personalities and since you're the reason I feel complete, I love you for that too!
My least favorite things are constantly doubting that I am doing things right. I am in almost a constant state of panic, worrying about your health, your developments and your happiness. I get frustrated when you won't listen and heed my words. And, as of right now in this stage of your lives, I don't really like feeling tired 24/7. :)
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
I would have dinner with William Shakespeare and we would have big juicy steaks, baked potato and cooked asparagus, (because I bet he will have never tasted those things! They will blow his mind!)
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
I think the notion that having multiple sexual partners and not treating intimacy like the special thing that is, is what the world has most wrong. So many children don't have a stable home, don't have both parents or are even murdered in the womb because of this notion that sex can be an act with no consequences. Plus, and this may be immature, but whenever I have seen a few minutes of Sex and the City, (which glorifies sex with no consequences to no end!), I look at those men and women and think, "Herpe-syphi-gono-AIDS!"
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
I love my lips. They are full, bright red and super soft. I think they accent my face very well! :)
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
His determination, strong will and fierce loyalty.
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
I want them to be happy, successful and good. I want them to find spouses they can love passionately and take them to the temple. I want them to have big, happy families and learn from their failures and celebrate their triumphs! :)
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
1. I was a good mother who gave 100% of herself to her family.
2. I was kind and loving and never complained.
3. I was smart and valued education.
4. I was a good Samaritan who helped my fellow man.
5. I was patient.
6. I was a successful woman who always tried to do her best.
7. I was a faithful member of the Church.
8. I was proud of my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
9. I was someone you could always count on.
10. I never let anyone I loved go one day without them knowing just how much I did love them.
