These are things I know to be true without hesitation:
1. I know there is a God. I have faith and have had personal experiences that tell me He is real.
2. I am one of the most blessed people on the planet. I have the most amazing people in my life.
3. I will succeed in becoming an English teacher one day. Just not sure when that day will come.
4. I love Luke with so much of me that he is a part of my very being.
5. I have come to realize how truly sappy I am. Hopeless romantic, I am!
6. I love Finn and still cannot believe how truly gorgeous and perfect he is. Blows my mind.
7. My sisters are people to envy.
8. Lydia, my eldest sister, is a hero in my eyes. She overcame a lot and works her hiney off daily to take care of and spoil her husband and daughter.
9. Rebecca, the second eldest, is one of the most complex people I know. Yet, she has a heart of Gold. And loves very fiercely.
10. Kristina, my little sister and best friend, is so incredibly beautiful on the inside and out. She looks like a supermodel, but has the intelligence of a rocket scientist. I am SO glad Heavenly Father put us together in the same family.
11. My mother is selfless, gorgeous, little and strong. She is a rock, but a softy when it comes to her family and her faith.
12. My father is my hero. He is a big teddy bear with a huge heart. He would give his life for his family, friends, strangers and God. I am a daddy's girl.
13. Being angry is fruitless, so I choose to be happy and dispel anger as soon as it starts to creep in.
14. I was made to be a mother and a wife. It's the best job I could hope for, and I plan on keeping it for a long time.
15. I am set in my ways, my beliefs, my politics. Don't try to change them.
16. I am glad I am an optimist, a romantic, religious and didn't compromise those things to be popular, well liked or "cool."
17. I love sleep, and it's the one thing I miss about being a new mom. That being said, I could stare at Mr. Finnegan all day and night, and be perfectly content.
18. Luke's voice is the most soothing sound in the world.
19. His arms are the most comforting feeling in the world.
20. Finn's breathing, his coos, his smiles, his wiggles, his snoring, his "hugs"...Thank you, Heavenly Father for this little man.
21. I have the best in-laws a gal could ask for!
22. I love my two brother-in-laws and my sister-in-law like they were my blood.
23. I love my nephews and my neice and am so proud of all four of them.
Those are the things I know. Have a good night all! :)
The going-ons of our little family, which started with one TALL gal and one IRISH man and soon became the third and fourth TALL, IRISH little men! Enjoy! :)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Some thoughts...
I love how perfect babies look when they sleep. Finn is asleep on my lap right now, and he looks flawless. After posting this, I think I might actually try to put him in his bassinet and sleep with Luke. I miss him. Hence, the reason for this entry.
I miss my husband so stinking much. He gets up for work at 5:30am, leaves by 6, and is usually not home until about 6:30pm. I am home with my little man which has been an adjustment but is still lovely. It's nice that we can afford for me to stay at home with Finn. Taking care of him is something I have fallen into quite nicely, I think. In any case, by the time Luke gets home, we are both exhausted and after we eat dinner, he takes a shower, destresses from the day and chills with Finn for awhile. Then, he goes to bed and I either play with Finn or sleep with him in the recliner, (this is my fault. I held him while he slept since he has been home and now he can't sleep UNLESS I am holding him. Whoops.)
When Luke and I first started dating, we both knew we had found something special. Luke had gone through one of the toughest relationships a person can go through, and I had never been in love. I knew I had gotten really lucky to have found someone who loves me so completely, and shows it every day. I wanted to be the best girlfriend he had. Now, I strive to be the best wife in the world. He strives to be the best husband in the world. Sure, we both have our days where we could work on certain things, but we both know our lines of communication are always totally open and we are always making sure the other is happy and content.
I love Luke so completely and he has my heart 100%. I miss him right now, mainly because we are adjusting to life with a new baby. I DO NOT resent Finn in any way, shape or form. I miss sleeping next to the love of my life. I know this is a time of adjustment and I am grateful to have such a supportive and understanding husband who listens when I need to talk. who helps when I ask for it, who loves Finn and I enough to work his tail off every day so we are comfortable, who compliments me and show affection daily, (I especially appreciate this when I am feeling fat, unattractive or grumpy.) I guess the reason of this blog is to write down my thoughts on the husband that I am truly blessed to have. I KNOW how lucky I got; I need to remember it when I am feeling sorry for myself for something that is truly silly. Anyhow, Finn has crashed on my chest and I am hoping he stays asleep for the-moving- from- mama's- chest- to- bassinet process. Good night, all! :)
I miss my husband so stinking much. He gets up for work at 5:30am, leaves by 6, and is usually not home until about 6:30pm. I am home with my little man which has been an adjustment but is still lovely. It's nice that we can afford for me to stay at home with Finn. Taking care of him is something I have fallen into quite nicely, I think. In any case, by the time Luke gets home, we are both exhausted and after we eat dinner, he takes a shower, destresses from the day and chills with Finn for awhile. Then, he goes to bed and I either play with Finn or sleep with him in the recliner, (this is my fault. I held him while he slept since he has been home and now he can't sleep UNLESS I am holding him. Whoops.)
When Luke and I first started dating, we both knew we had found something special. Luke had gone through one of the toughest relationships a person can go through, and I had never been in love. I knew I had gotten really lucky to have found someone who loves me so completely, and shows it every day. I wanted to be the best girlfriend he had. Now, I strive to be the best wife in the world. He strives to be the best husband in the world. Sure, we both have our days where we could work on certain things, but we both know our lines of communication are always totally open and we are always making sure the other is happy and content.
I love Luke so completely and he has my heart 100%. I miss him right now, mainly because we are adjusting to life with a new baby. I DO NOT resent Finn in any way, shape or form. I miss sleeping next to the love of my life. I know this is a time of adjustment and I am grateful to have such a supportive and understanding husband who listens when I need to talk. who helps when I ask for it, who loves Finn and I enough to work his tail off every day so we are comfortable, who compliments me and show affection daily, (I especially appreciate this when I am feeling fat, unattractive or grumpy.) I guess the reason of this blog is to write down my thoughts on the husband that I am truly blessed to have. I KNOW how lucky I got; I need to remember it when I am feeling sorry for myself for something that is truly silly. Anyhow, Finn has crashed on my chest and I am hoping he stays asleep for the-moving- from- mama's- chest- to- bassinet process. Good night, all! :)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The birth story!
It's 11:30 and Finn is sleeping on my chest after a diaper change, a full tummy and lots of kisses. He is licking his fist, which is one of the many adorable things he does that make my heart melt. I am so glad he is here. He makes me so content and at peace with the world. Sometimes I feel like my chest is going to explode. I thought, when I married Luke, that my capacity to love was at the "full" level. Not so. I know it's a different kind of love, but as Luke said in the delivery room: "my chest feels like it's going to explode." I couldn't agree more. Now, on to the main subject of this blog.
Some people have asked about Finn's delivery and our experience. I have decided to put it in my blog so those who wish to know the "story" can read at their own convenience. If you couldn't care less, then have a great day! :)
So, I started having little contractions about a month before my due date, (9/27). They were considered false contractions. Around that time, I was at 1cm. At my 38 week appt, I was at 2cm. A few days before my due date, I started having stronger contractions. Ones that made me wince, but weren't horrible. At my 40 week appt, I was still only 2cm but Finn's head was reachable. I thought that might be a good sign. I was hoping to deliver on my due date for a few reasons: 1. My mom was there and my sisters, dad and brother-in-law had limited time reserved to come for the birth and to get to know Finn. 2. It was Luke's best friend, Rubens', birthday and I thought that would be a nice homage to him. 3. Ruben was getting married a week later and I knew Luke wanted to be there. 4. I was getting extremely uncomfortable and my OB was a little worried about my pelvis size and the placenta was starting to show come calcification. Not that he was too worried, (obviously, or he wouldn't have let me go 2 weeks overdue!)
At my 41 week appt, (I was a week overdue now), I still had no signs of delivering. My OB decided, (after some prodding from me), that now was the time to try and get Finn out. I was set to go into the hospital the next morning for an induction that was not very invasive. They gave me a pill that started contractions in a slow and mild way. I was there 15 hours, and though my contractions became stronger, I stayed at 2cm AND Finn decided to move his head up and out of my pelvis. I was sent home with the instructions to come back Thursday to try a gel called Cervadil, ( basically, a step up from the pill.) The gel caused the contractions to become stronger; to the point where I couldn't talk through them. The first strong ones made me cry, mainly because they scared me with their intensity. However, at the end of the day, I had only progressed to 3cm and Finn still had his head up. The nurses became more concerned, considering I was now coming up on 2 weeks overdue and they were estimating Finn would be a large baby, (I knew that already, just based on the size of my tummy, and how strong and long he felt in there.) My OB decided that Monday, 10/11, when I was officially 2 weeks overdue, that he would induce me with Pitocin and get him out. I was concerned about the placenta dying because the OB said parts of it were showing calcification, (maybe the worry was silly, but that is me.)
However, early Sunday morning at about 4:30 am, I told Luke I thought we should go in. Though I was still having the same regular contractions from the first two failed inductions, and wasn't feeling any different really, something told me this was it. Luke said he had been praying all night, and had a feeling this was it as well. So, we woke my mom, big sister and dad up and told them we would go to the hospital and let them know what happened. If we were admitted, Luke would call so they could come on over. (Note: My little sister, who was supposed to be in the delivery room with me, and her husband had left that Friday because their time off was up. Still makes me sad that KK couldn't be there for Finn's birth.)
We arrived, checked in at the ER lobby, and a security officer wheeled me to the Maternity Ward. I was SO happy when I was told the nurse who had been helping us all week, (Luke and I took to her and we LOVE her), would be there at 7am. They checked me and I was still only at 3cm. However, our amazing nurse called my OB and he decided to start the Pitocin so this whole process could finally climax and we could finally meet our little man! All I can say is WOW. Pitocin SUCKS. It made my contractions go to 2 minutes apart, and so strong I could barely think straight. I admire women SO much; contractions are the worst pain I have ever felt. Apparently, I said "I can't do this anymore!" a couple times and punched the bed a lot. During our childbirth class, our teacher mentioned that she made a quiet, deep "ooohhh" sound during her contractions. I did the same, and it helped so much. I never screamed or cried, (much to the surprise of myself, Luke and my mom. I have a low pain tolerance and am a bit of a wimp. I was pretty proud afterwards. I thought I would be a crazy wreck the whole time.)
After about four hours, my nurse checked me and I was at 5cm and fully effaced. I decided then to have an epidural. They called the on call anesthesiologist and he came in and put it in. It was completely painless, mainly because I was still on Pitocin and didn't notice the needle through the contractions. My nurse put Fentanyl, (a pain med), in my IV so I would sleep before "the work began." That is my one regret. It made my head so fuzzy and I was a little out of it after Finn was born.
My nurse checked me after my epidural took effect, and I was at 7cm, (a half hour after I was only at 5cm.) Only a half hour later, I told the nurse I was feeling immense pressure, (I asked that the epidural not be too strong because I wanted to be able to feel pressure so I knew when to push.) She was a little doubtful, but checked me and immediately discovered that I was at 10cm and Finn's head was crowning. She called the OB to come in, (he had just arrived and scrubbed up), and had my big sister, Lydia and my mom hold my legs and Luke was holding my head and neck so I could push down with support. I started pushing at 1:50 pm and Finn was born at 2:30 pm. At the beginning of my pregnancy, Luke was instructed NOT to look while I was delivering Finn, (for reasons that no one probably cares to know, LOL.) However, because of the "oohing and aaahhing" my mom and sister were doing, Luke asked to see and was able to watch Finn being born whilst holding my head and being super supportive and sweet. He said it was one of the coolest things he has ever seen, and he is glad I let him. To be honest, pushing was my favorite part of the whole delivery process, (I'm sure because I didn't feel any pain, only the pressure.) I pushed three times during every contraction and though I was able to push fairly successfully, it was a little difficult when you can't feel anything from the waist down. Something I knew was a negative about having an epidural. (FUNNY SIDENOTE: Every time I felt pressure and was getting ready to push, I said, "All right. Let's do this.")
When Finn was born, he sucked in air too quick and collapsed his left lung. Our nurse, who is a hero in my eyes, noticed immediately after he was placed on my chest that he was not really crying and was purple. Luke and her immediately grabbed him off me, and she began to work on him while Luke stayed by his side, (and didn't leave it from then on.) The nurse also noticed that his chest is a little caved in on one side, which we later learned will go away as he gets older and grows.I had to deliver the placenta and second degree tearing so I was being stitched up and trying to see what was happening. They took a chest x-ray, discovered his collapsed lung, and took him to the nursery to be intubated and transferred to the Redding NICU, where he stayed for a week. Luke and my dad stayed by his side during all this and came in and gave me, my sister and my mom updates. The updates were basically them reassuring me that he was ok. I didn't know this, but Luke was an absolute wreck and was breaking down watching them put needles in him and putting tubes down his throat, (the pediatrician failed to intubate him the first 3 times so they had another pediatrician do it; Luke was NOT happy.) I was so out of it from the Fentanyl, and was trying to remain positive, (my coping mechanism. I was FREAKING out inside, but I was trying to put up a strong front.) I lost it when they let me in the nursery while the EMTs were prepping him for his ambulance drive to Mercy Medical Center. Seeing him being wheeled away was torture. Not being able to leave St. Elizabeths until the next day was torture as well, but I was glad Luke and my mom were in Redding keeping an eye on him. Because of his collapsed lung, he also developed pneumonia and was successfully treated with antibiotics. The NICU pediatrician and the nurses there were incredible and so helpful, understanding and loving. He was the biggest baby there, (all the others were itty bitty preemies; his neighbors were such cuties.) Luke and I were there every day, and developed a great relationship with the amazing nurses there. Having a baby in the NICU was the worst feeling in the world, and I admire the families of the babies who have to be there for months on end and with much worse illnesses than Finn. I respect the strength of those families more than they know.
However, Finn is the picture of health now and we have LOVED having him home. He is such a good baby and is one resilient, tough baby. Here are his stats at birth:
Born: 10/10/10, (cool huh?)
Weight: 8lbs 14oz
Height: 21 1/2 inches
Time: 2:30 pm
Hair color: Blonde eyebrows, light brown hair
Eye color: dark blue, (mama's eyes!)
He is now 10lbs 12 oz, (he eats like a full grown man) and is 22 1/2 inches long. His pediatrician used a computer growth chart and estimates he will be about 6ft 4in to 6ft 6in tall. He has made Luke and I so happy and we love him more than air. Luke is an amazing dad and we are enjoying all his little quirks and faces. I thought he looked like me at first, but he is starting to look more and more like Luke. We love our little man! More updates on my chunky monkey as he learns and grows! Love you all!!! :)
Some people have asked about Finn's delivery and our experience. I have decided to put it in my blog so those who wish to know the "story" can read at their own convenience. If you couldn't care less, then have a great day! :)
So, I started having little contractions about a month before my due date, (9/27). They were considered false contractions. Around that time, I was at 1cm. At my 38 week appt, I was at 2cm. A few days before my due date, I started having stronger contractions. Ones that made me wince, but weren't horrible. At my 40 week appt, I was still only 2cm but Finn's head was reachable. I thought that might be a good sign. I was hoping to deliver on my due date for a few reasons: 1. My mom was there and my sisters, dad and brother-in-law had limited time reserved to come for the birth and to get to know Finn. 2. It was Luke's best friend, Rubens', birthday and I thought that would be a nice homage to him. 3. Ruben was getting married a week later and I knew Luke wanted to be there. 4. I was getting extremely uncomfortable and my OB was a little worried about my pelvis size and the placenta was starting to show come calcification. Not that he was too worried, (obviously, or he wouldn't have let me go 2 weeks overdue!)
At my 41 week appt, (I was a week overdue now), I still had no signs of delivering. My OB decided, (after some prodding from me), that now was the time to try and get Finn out. I was set to go into the hospital the next morning for an induction that was not very invasive. They gave me a pill that started contractions in a slow and mild way. I was there 15 hours, and though my contractions became stronger, I stayed at 2cm AND Finn decided to move his head up and out of my pelvis. I was sent home with the instructions to come back Thursday to try a gel called Cervadil, ( basically, a step up from the pill.) The gel caused the contractions to become stronger; to the point where I couldn't talk through them. The first strong ones made me cry, mainly because they scared me with their intensity. However, at the end of the day, I had only progressed to 3cm and Finn still had his head up. The nurses became more concerned, considering I was now coming up on 2 weeks overdue and they were estimating Finn would be a large baby, (I knew that already, just based on the size of my tummy, and how strong and long he felt in there.) My OB decided that Monday, 10/11, when I was officially 2 weeks overdue, that he would induce me with Pitocin and get him out. I was concerned about the placenta dying because the OB said parts of it were showing calcification, (maybe the worry was silly, but that is me.)
However, early Sunday morning at about 4:30 am, I told Luke I thought we should go in. Though I was still having the same regular contractions from the first two failed inductions, and wasn't feeling any different really, something told me this was it. Luke said he had been praying all night, and had a feeling this was it as well. So, we woke my mom, big sister and dad up and told them we would go to the hospital and let them know what happened. If we were admitted, Luke would call so they could come on over. (Note: My little sister, who was supposed to be in the delivery room with me, and her husband had left that Friday because their time off was up. Still makes me sad that KK couldn't be there for Finn's birth.)
We arrived, checked in at the ER lobby, and a security officer wheeled me to the Maternity Ward. I was SO happy when I was told the nurse who had been helping us all week, (Luke and I took to her and we LOVE her), would be there at 7am. They checked me and I was still only at 3cm. However, our amazing nurse called my OB and he decided to start the Pitocin so this whole process could finally climax and we could finally meet our little man! All I can say is WOW. Pitocin SUCKS. It made my contractions go to 2 minutes apart, and so strong I could barely think straight. I admire women SO much; contractions are the worst pain I have ever felt. Apparently, I said "I can't do this anymore!" a couple times and punched the bed a lot. During our childbirth class, our teacher mentioned that she made a quiet, deep "ooohhh" sound during her contractions. I did the same, and it helped so much. I never screamed or cried, (much to the surprise of myself, Luke and my mom. I have a low pain tolerance and am a bit of a wimp. I was pretty proud afterwards. I thought I would be a crazy wreck the whole time.)
After about four hours, my nurse checked me and I was at 5cm and fully effaced. I decided then to have an epidural. They called the on call anesthesiologist and he came in and put it in. It was completely painless, mainly because I was still on Pitocin and didn't notice the needle through the contractions. My nurse put Fentanyl, (a pain med), in my IV so I would sleep before "the work began." That is my one regret. It made my head so fuzzy and I was a little out of it after Finn was born.
My nurse checked me after my epidural took effect, and I was at 7cm, (a half hour after I was only at 5cm.) Only a half hour later, I told the nurse I was feeling immense pressure, (I asked that the epidural not be too strong because I wanted to be able to feel pressure so I knew when to push.) She was a little doubtful, but checked me and immediately discovered that I was at 10cm and Finn's head was crowning. She called the OB to come in, (he had just arrived and scrubbed up), and had my big sister, Lydia and my mom hold my legs and Luke was holding my head and neck so I could push down with support. I started pushing at 1:50 pm and Finn was born at 2:30 pm. At the beginning of my pregnancy, Luke was instructed NOT to look while I was delivering Finn, (for reasons that no one probably cares to know, LOL.) However, because of the "oohing and aaahhing" my mom and sister were doing, Luke asked to see and was able to watch Finn being born whilst holding my head and being super supportive and sweet. He said it was one of the coolest things he has ever seen, and he is glad I let him. To be honest, pushing was my favorite part of the whole delivery process, (I'm sure because I didn't feel any pain, only the pressure.) I pushed three times during every contraction and though I was able to push fairly successfully, it was a little difficult when you can't feel anything from the waist down. Something I knew was a negative about having an epidural. (FUNNY SIDENOTE: Every time I felt pressure and was getting ready to push, I said, "All right. Let's do this.")
When Finn was born, he sucked in air too quick and collapsed his left lung. Our nurse, who is a hero in my eyes, noticed immediately after he was placed on my chest that he was not really crying and was purple. Luke and her immediately grabbed him off me, and she began to work on him while Luke stayed by his side, (and didn't leave it from then on.) The nurse also noticed that his chest is a little caved in on one side, which we later learned will go away as he gets older and grows.I had to deliver the placenta and second degree tearing so I was being stitched up and trying to see what was happening. They took a chest x-ray, discovered his collapsed lung, and took him to the nursery to be intubated and transferred to the Redding NICU, where he stayed for a week. Luke and my dad stayed by his side during all this and came in and gave me, my sister and my mom updates. The updates were basically them reassuring me that he was ok. I didn't know this, but Luke was an absolute wreck and was breaking down watching them put needles in him and putting tubes down his throat, (the pediatrician failed to intubate him the first 3 times so they had another pediatrician do it; Luke was NOT happy.) I was so out of it from the Fentanyl, and was trying to remain positive, (my coping mechanism. I was FREAKING out inside, but I was trying to put up a strong front.) I lost it when they let me in the nursery while the EMTs were prepping him for his ambulance drive to Mercy Medical Center. Seeing him being wheeled away was torture. Not being able to leave St. Elizabeths until the next day was torture as well, but I was glad Luke and my mom were in Redding keeping an eye on him. Because of his collapsed lung, he also developed pneumonia and was successfully treated with antibiotics. The NICU pediatrician and the nurses there were incredible and so helpful, understanding and loving. He was the biggest baby there, (all the others were itty bitty preemies; his neighbors were such cuties.) Luke and I were there every day, and developed a great relationship with the amazing nurses there. Having a baby in the NICU was the worst feeling in the world, and I admire the families of the babies who have to be there for months on end and with much worse illnesses than Finn. I respect the strength of those families more than they know.
However, Finn is the picture of health now and we have LOVED having him home. He is such a good baby and is one resilient, tough baby. Here are his stats at birth:
Born: 10/10/10, (cool huh?)
Weight: 8lbs 14oz
Height: 21 1/2 inches
Time: 2:30 pm
Hair color: Blonde eyebrows, light brown hair
Eye color: dark blue, (mama's eyes!)
He is now 10lbs 12 oz, (he eats like a full grown man) and is 22 1/2 inches long. His pediatrician used a computer growth chart and estimates he will be about 6ft 4in to 6ft 6in tall. He has made Luke and I so happy and we love him more than air. Luke is an amazing dad and we are enjoying all his little quirks and faces. I thought he looked like me at first, but he is starting to look more and more like Luke. We love our little man! More updates on my chunky monkey as he learns and grows! Love you all!!! :)
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