Never again...

Dr. Eshwara, from Sutter Medical Center in Sacramento, requested Finn have a full skeletal xray, and a renal ultrasound, (checks out his kidneys), and since there was a cancellation at the Imaging Center today, he went in. The ultrasound wasn't too bad; Finn doesn't like staying still so he squirmed and fussed, but I had his milk readily available and the wonderful Ultrasound Tech gave him some leeds to play with, (I remember they were called leeds, since Finn had them all over when he was in the NICU.) She got a sufficient amount of pictures of his kidneys and his bladder and then sent us to xray.
This...I was not looking forward to. He has had 6 xrays in his life, (5 in the NICU, 1 when he was two months old), and I really didn't want to have him exposed to more radiation. Also, since I am pregnant, I of course could not be in the room so he would have to be in there alone with women he didn't know and I knew that would flip him out. I was allowed to stand outside the room with the door open, but I didn't know that the skeletal survey involved taking 8 pictures. Finn screamed like I have never heard before and a couple times he could see me standing outside the room. When he did, he would reach out for me and scream. I almost stopped them and at one point told them, "you don't need to take any more. Please be done." They took one of his feet, and finished. I took him in my arms, and he instantly calmed down and started to fall asleep on my shoulder. I don't like that this had to happen; I almost feel that it was pointless. I know they are making sure that Finn's bones are intact, (now that he has an officially diagnosis of Polands'), but I realized today that I let my passive, quiet self get in the way of what I thought was best for Finn. My heart feels a little broken right now; I should have refused the xray. I should have told them I didn't think it was necessary and politely left. But, instead, I went with what the technicians and doctors wanted and though I know Finn won't suffer any lasting damage from this, (physically, mentally or emotionally), but I need to remember that I need to advocate for Finn and Baby #2 much more vocally.
So...never again, docs. I understand you wanting to make sure Finn is healthy and safe, but I get the distinct impression that you are also wanting to use Finn's rare condition as a case study. He is NOT a case study; he is my precious son, whom I love more than air and would die for in a second. Thanks, anyhow.

News, news, news...

First off: Finn had his geneticist/doctors' appointment in Sacramento on Monday. We went on Sunday, went to the Sacramento zoo, and had a blast. Finn was in love with the Tiger and thought the Chimps were hilarious. They were screaming at each other, and Finn decided to join in with his "ooohh ooohh ooohh" sounds. He was so smiley and happy the whole time. He enjoyed exploring the hotel room, but got a little restless after awhile. We both had a rough night sleeping, (he likes his own space now, and was kicking me in the face, chest, tummy, legs...all night long.) Daddy was lucky and got his own double bed.

Anyhow, his appointment was, in a word, pointless. The Genetic Counselor and the Doctor had amazing bedside manner and were thorough and adored Finn, (he patted the Doctors leg the whole time, and put his arms up for the Counselor to hold him. They couldn't get enough of him! :)) However, all they did was confirm that yes, Finn has Polands' Syndrome. He only has one of the symptoms of the Syndrome, (he is missing the major and minor Pectoralis muscles on his right side), and it is nothing life threatening or dehabilitating. However, he spent the next hour contradicting himself. He said the medical community has no idea what causes the Syndrome, but in the next breath said that it was because of Luke's family history that there is a genetic defect/marker in Luke's part of our childrens' DNA. He said there is a chance all of our children might have some kind of genetic defect, whether it be something we never even discover or is in no way life threatening like Finn, or something severe like a heart condition. We took it with a grain of salt because he was speculating a lot and contradicting himself back and forth. So, we chose to move on with Finn's prognosis and move on with life!

In other news, Finn is going to be a big brother! I am officially 6 weeks pregnant today and will have my first appt and ultrasound on January 27th! We are so excited to invite a new member into our family, and can't wait for Finn to have a best friend, playmate and brother/sister! We already have names picked out for either gender, and are excited to find out at 18 weeks what it is! So far, I am only queasy and other than that, I am just super excited! Have a great night, all! :)