An update on Finn, (the good and the...not so good)

So, Finn had his 1 year well check this morning. he is 24 1/2 lbs, 32 inches and is due for another growth spurt according to his pediatrician, since his head is huge and his body needs to catch up. He waved at her as she was coming in, and later walked to her, (shakily, but he did it!) He is on track with all his milestones, and all parts are running hot, straight and normal. I had made a list of questions to make sure I didn't miss anything, (which is what I usually do; hence the list.) As she was walking out, I remembered the last question. Here is how it went:

Me: "Oh yeah. Hey doc! Is his chest looking like it's growing on track with the rest of his body?"

Doc: "Let me look...I forgot about this. It looks like Poland Syndrome. I can't officially diagnose it, though. Off to see a Geneticist at UC Davis!"

Well, that is not exactly how it went. Let me back track for a second. When Finn was born, he collapsed his right lung. The nurse noticed something was off, (besides the fact that he was off color and not crying), when she saw the left side of his chest. It was caved in and there was no tissue supporting his left nipple. In any case, he was in the NICU for a week for a pneumothorax, (collapsed lung) and pneumonia. The only thing they mentioned about the left side of his chest was that there was no tissue for the left nipple and his ribs were abnormal. They said it wouldn't affect him at all; just a little cosmetic difference.

Throughout his well checks and various other appts, every time I mentioned his chest, they told me the same thing. He has had 6 x-rays throughout his one year of life and no one said anything about a "syndrome." He just looked a little different, (it's really not even that noticeable.)

Fast forward  to today: the only reason anything was discussed about his chest was because I wanted to be proactive in making sure it wouldn't affect him in life. That's the ONLY reason his pediatrician noticed. She looked up his patient records from the day he was born, the time he was transferred to Redding by EMTs and the reports of the NICU doctor, and they NEVER mention his ribs or the lack of muscle tissue in that pectoral area. Uh...why did no one address it? Should I have asked more questions besides just accepting his ribs are a little different, but nothing to worry about? I think, at that time, I was so stressed out that any good, "no problem" type news made me feel a little more relieved. Now...I'm pissed. Sorry about the language usage, but...why all of the sudden are we off to see a Specialist in Birth Defects ONE year later?

In any case, let me explain what Poland Syndrome is, (I have already researched the CRAP out of it.) This syndrome, (named after a man, not the country), is basically where the top ribs on one side are shorter than the other side, which causes the chest to look inverted on one side. In addition, they are lacking the two long, lean pectoral muscles that make up the chest on one sie. They are also lacking tissue for that sides' nipple. Some patients with Poland Syndrome also have shorter fingers or webbed fingers on the affected side, (thank God he doesn't have either. His fingers are NOT webbed and are the same length as his other hand.)

I can't help but feel like this is my fault. It's a genetic birth defect. Should I not have other children? Ah. So many questions. I guess this Specialist will have the answers. In any case, he is my love and he is gorgeous. It won't affect him in any way because all he will know is that he is beautiful inside and out and an amazing kid/boy/man. Prayers, please. Thank you!

1,000,000 dollars!

So, I love the smoothies at McDonalds: specifically, the strawberry banana one. Yum. And, I confess...I love the $3 dollar mini meals there, too. Especially when I am running a million errands and need something small, but quick to satisfy my growling tummy. In any case, they are now doing their annual Monopoly game. I have a bunch of them that I am keeping together so that I might win something. If you get Park Place and Boardwalk together, you win a whopping million dollars. As I was driving away after getting my smoothie and discovering this little bit of information, I started to ponder about what I would get if I miraculously won that 1,000,000 dollars, (and believe me, I am going to try my darndest to win that money!) I have my "adult" list, (which will inevitably win out!), and my "I'm still a kid" list. Here is the adult list:

ADULT
Pay off the house
Fix the garage door
Hire a landscaper to design and execute the backyard
Hire an interior designer to design and decorate the house
Hire a construction co. to add another level and more bedrooms to the house
Give each family member some of the money
Buy a Nissan Armada
Save the rest for kids' colleges/missions
Get 10 years worth of food storage

And here is the "kid" list:

KID
Take entire family, extended as well, on a two week vacation to Disneyland
Travel the world
Shopping spree for me, Luke and my babies
Buy lots of "toys", (boat, mobile home, motorcycle., 1964 Impala for Luke, jewelry, etc.)
Give each family member some of the money

Man, I really wish sometimes that this could all be possible. Not having to worry about bills, being able to enjoy the good and exciting things in life, as opposed to Luke having to slave away every day just to make sure we are secure, (not that I'm not eternally grateful to him for working his tail off, because I most certainly am!); he doesn't get to enjoy the fun things as much as he deserves. Ok, I am off to enjoy the day with my little man. Happy Tuesday! :)
Go on shopping spree for

Fatty McFattersons

Luke wanted a bathroom scale. It was a mistake to get one; I could hear that thought resonating in my head as I walking to the checkout with that blasted thing in one arm, and my not-so-little man in the other. I tried to tell myself, it will motivate you. It will give you a starting point to go forward from. We got home, I opened it up, and tapped it to make sure it worked. It flashed 0.0. I stepped on it, refusing to look down until it beeped that my weight was calculated. BEEP. I looked down. My heart sank, tears built up and I came out of the bathroom and fell on the bed next to Luke. He knew exactly what happened. He pulled so I was on my back, kissed me, and asked what it was. I told him. It didn't even phase him. I said, "maybe we shouldn't try for baby  #2 until I can become less of a fat cow." After berating me for insulting myself, he said: "let's just try to lose as much weight as we can together and in November, we will see where we are at. Don't worry about it." I wiped my tears and thought, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get up, work out, cut some stuff out of your diet and get your body ready to make another baby.
My motivation isn't the number that was on that evil scale. My motivation is that baby in the pre-existence waiting to meet his/her mama, daddy and big brother. I will be as healthy as I can be for him/her, for Luke and for Finn.

Thank heavens that I am 6'3'', though. Hides how big I really am...to an extent. Happy Tuesday, everyone.

10/3/11

Yesterday, 10/3/11, Luke's grandpa passed away. Luke needed to talk and tell stories about his poppy, so he did while I got dinner together. Poppy was the only grandpa of Luke's that I knew, (his other two grandpas passed before I could meet and know them), and he was a blast to talk to. He told me stories about World War II, and we always joked about how tall we both were. Finn was able to know him, meet him and give him hugs and for that, I am grateful. We are waiting to hear when the funeral is, and we just want to offer our condolences to his three daughters, one son and Luke's granny that is surviving him. He was a good grandpa to Luke and his twin sister and brothers. He will be missed.