Tonight's post really has no set topic. I felt the need to write a bit and so that is what I am doing. I really need to take a shower and go to bed in order to be conscious and present for the boys tomorrow, but alas, I relish this quiet time where no one needs a refill in their sippy, has to go potty NOW or just wants to use my 6'3'' frame as a jungle gym, (I'm lookin' at you, Mr. Dietrich!) By the way, funny anecdote: today at church, Dietrich's' nursery class colored a book about Christ. The teacher wrote his name on it and spelled it "Deitrex." Huh? Ok, I know his name isn't common in the States, (his name is my great great grandfathers German name), but how would you get that spelling from saying "Dee-trick"? I wasn't mad, just thought it was interesting. I love his name and that's all that matters.
Anyhow, I have been pondering my job as a mother a lot lately. I obviously love my sons and would die for them. I sacrifice everything for them: time, money, sleep, sanity, my body, etc. and of course, I am happy to do it. They are the best thing to happen to me. Any good mother feels the same about their own children. I also want what I think is the best for them. I worry about them constantly and how the new challenges and experiences in their lives will affect them .I am thinking about Finn and him starting school, in particular. His speech is really starting to take off and he is an incredibly smart and curious kid. But, he is sensitive, he has a bad temper and he has no personal space. We are trying to teach him to manage his angry outbursts and give people space when approaching and talking to them. But, will it be enough? Will he lose it one day in preschool and hit someone? Will I be able to relinquish control and send him off to school to be taught by strangers? It keeps me up most nights, truly.
Dietrich, on the other hand, is what I like to call a "coaster." He just goes with the flow, doesn't really get angry and is rarely affected by things around him. He is also wild, impulsive, hilarious and has one really bad habit: throwing things. He is constantly chucking toys, Sippy's, pacifiers, and anything else he can get his hands on. And, he doesn't just throw them in the air. He throws them AT people, especially Finn. It's a habit we either need to break or enroll him in Baseball the first chance we get. Then, maybe that great throwing arm will get him drafted in with the San Francisco Giants and he can make mom and dad a lot of money. Hey, a mom can dream.
All in all, this parenthood thing is so freaking nerve wracking, that I wonder how I will survive the next 18 years, give or take a few. It's also truly so much fun and I laugh more than I ever did. I also cry, scream, and smile more. In conclusion, what a roller coaster parenthood truly has turned out to be!
